Musings of a boy

A new chapter

2010-06-03T02:59:00.002+08:00

Had a blast the past couple of days, met friends whom I haven't met in quite awhile, and friends whom I'm gonna miss real badly. I don't think I need to name names, you probably know who you are.

So I'm enlisting tomorrow. It still feels kinda surreal, how fast it's upon me. To think that NS felt like a distant future in the past, but it's right here in my face now. I'm not afraid, filled with a little trepidation perhaps, but nothing I can't overcome I know. Let's hope this will be a good experience too, like all my past experiences on a whole thus far. Gonna miss you, my loved ones, but seriously, I don't wanna make a mountain out of a molehill, it's only gonna be 2 weeks. Many people in the world face a much longer/worse separation.

So till then, know that you're in my heart and mind, wherever you are, Singapore or not. Love, much.

P.S. Have heart my dear, you WILL find it in you to do the right thing. I have faith in you, always have, and it doesn't change today.

Oww

2010-05-22T01:17:00.001+08:00

I don't remember ever feeling so miserable. It saps your energy, literally.

Tour guide, if just for a day.

2010-04-13T21:11:00.002+08:00

Just back from a day out with Mikko and his girlfriend. I haven't gotten her name, despite chatting with her from Vietnam all the way to Clarke Quay, here in Singapore. But I guess it doesn't really matter as long as the conversation flows and one is having a good time. I must say that I had a bloody good time today. I guess one of the reasons why I offered to bring them around Singapore was because I'm very proud of my country, very proud to be Singaporean and I want to bring.... a personal touch into 'just another mundane holiday to another city-state'. It's true that perhaps my decision was influenced a great deal by the warm hospitality I received while I was on the road in Cambodia and Vietnam, albeit a very short trip, it had a profound impact on me. How at the end of the day, it really is the inter-personal, human contact that brings people from all walks of life together. Like I said before, you don't need to speak the same language to understand each other. Sometimes all you need is just a smile.

I'm glad Lucy came along, even though it might have been partly because she wanted to see if the dude really was as handsome as Joanna made him out to be. But it was a great experience with two of my bestest friends, even if the weather killed us all.

We met the Finnish couple at Clarke Quay at 3pm. They ahd been to Sentosa earlier in the morning, but as I had expected, the place was a tad too expensive for their budgets. My only regret is that I didn't go along because I wouldn't have minded paying for them. Plus, this episode has made me realise how little I know/have seen of my country. Haha, I even had to do some research on the attractions to go to and what to do, ironic much eh? So Lucy and Joanna went back home first to bath and prepare before we met at 1.30 at Clarke Quay for lunch. We had been playing MJ the night before and OMG, it was a horrible night, but you win some lose some. I've understood that philosophy ever since I started gambling with money, so it's no big deal. BUT I WILL WIN MY MOOLA BACK. RAWR! The crazy woman Joanna cycled here the night before, thus she had to cycle back in the sweltering afternoon heat. And to add insult to injury, her tires were punctured, by what I do not know. She actually thought I sabotaged her bicycle. -.-'''

So we met at Clarke Quay for lunch at Manhattan Fish Market. Shared a seafood platter with Lucy and we were soooooooooooo filled! Joanna didn't even finish her Fish & Chips. Thereafter, we proceeded to the riverfront to slack and wait for Mikko to arrive. When they did, we realised that they hadn't had lunch yet, so we went down to the Central Market, trying to look for some authentic local food. The girl didn't want to eat any meat so the only thing on the menu was Chee Cheong Fun, and Mikko gamely ordered Laksa. Respect. He finished the whole bowl, and even drank all the soup. If I were to do that...... I think I'll look like I ran 42km or something. According to him the Laksa was awesome food, interesting, considering it wasn't even super authentic Laksa like the one from Katong. So with our tummy's filled, we decided to walk down the river, towards Fullerton. That would bring us past all the major historical/cultural landmarks in the area, like Raffles' landing spot, The old Parliament building, Victoria Concert Hall, Asian Civilisations Museum, Supreme Court and City Hall and the War memorial. It was an itinerary that I stole from the internet, but it was a very interesting walk, nonetheless. Got to see many things that I haven't seen in a long long time, and it felt just like the Learning Journeys excursions we used to have, just that this time round, I was the guide for the day. Did, most of the talking, trying to explain what little I knew about our colonial past, and if they looked bored, they never showed it. I wanted to show them the ACM and the Peranakan museum but they said they ahd the whole day tomorrow so they'd probably do that plus the Singapore Flyer, so we gave it a miss. Pity since I was looking forward to the museums!

We walked one full round, all the way back to St Andrew's Cathedral before we decided to bring Mikko to Chinatown to try some Ba Kwa. Lucy was like craving for that really badly. We initially wanted to take the train, since they were more comfortable with it, but Mikko wanted to be a bit more adventurous and try the buses so we hopped on 124 and alighted at Chinatown. There, we walked to Temple St, upon Lucy's suggestion and ended up eating at Mei Heong Yuen, which was the same place Jiahao, Joanna, Grace and I ate the other time when she was still in Singapore. We ordered 4 Yang Zhi Gan Lus, our staple, which turned out to be not bad, except the ice made it kinda diluted towards the end. Mikko and his girlfriend ordered some Mango and Strawberry shaved ice dessert. It made me glad to know that they were enjoying the new culinary experience, for they had remarked that it was their first time eating desserts in this style, with shaved ice and all. All the desserts they had eaten so far were almost always chocolaty or creamy. Halfway through our desserts, it started to pour really, really heavily. And since we weren't in much of a hurry, we just sat at the shop, chatting and waiting for the rain to subside. It turns out that Mikko is 27 nd his girlfriend is 26. An I still thought that he was like 23/24. Hahaha... It's cool that they're able to travel so widely even while they're still studying. Hopefully I'll be able to do that as well, in the near future.

When the rain lightened, we made out way back to Chinatown mrt. Mikko wanted to head to the Night Safari, upon my suggestion, but I think the rain was a bit off-putting. So they decided to head to Orchard Road instead to do some shopping (yay, boosts our economy). Jo and I followed them while we accidentally left Lucy behind. SORRY!!! I thought that you'd be following us as well. =/ We intended to go to the Night Safari with Mikko, if I were able to get the car but alas, that wasn't the case. Which is just as well because it is STILL pouring and I don't think it'd be a very pleasant experience.

Mikko is leaving tomorrow for KL, and we'll be meeting him for dinner at Geylang before he leaves. Gonna get them to try some durian!! He asked if it was the smelly fruit. HAHAHA super cute. Till then, I'll post some pictures if I remember to take them tomorrow. Totally forgot about it today, hahaha.

Gonna game. Out. :)

Mahjong again and again

2010-04-10T21:42:00.003+08:00

Just finished playing mahjong with my awesome friends Joanna, Joel and Jin Ming. Its always a fun time when we get together and today wasn't an exception. Though it's true that I feel a tad bad when I win their money, but oh well, it's mahjong and luck eh guys, no hard feelings. :) So today was a good harvest, was losing roughly $60 before I came back with two 6tai zi mos and some ping hus. Joel was nice enough to give me a lift back, so thanks a lot dude! Mahjong at my place next time la, then you won't have to place like 7 parking coupons or something. Hopefully the next time is Monday.

I have been doing nothing with my life recently and it has really been getting to me. I have no idea why but I feel like I am wasting my precious youth. Pretty ironic, this coming after poly, but I'm over that anyway. I think it's partly because of the backpacking trip? It really opened my eyes, and made me want to do something meaningful with the chances I have been given in life. Some people would kill to have the cards life has dealt me, even when it's nothing spectacular. In better news, Joanna has been accepted by NUS's FASS, which I am glad for because its something that she wants. But of course if you get SMU's I'll be even more glad for you. The whole uni thing is being very......... frustrating for me. Seeing my peers flit off towards uni leaves a bittersweet feeling in my mouth. I'm definitely happy that they've embarked on another one of life's journey's, and then I look at where I am; undecided about what I wanna do/study. It just makes me very sad. I'm hoping I'll be able to find an answer to what my heart is asking soon. It is very disturbing to not know.

Okay I think I've vomited the emo parts. Here's the happy parts. We stayed over at Dawn's place on Thursday. I was super looking forward to it and ALMOST didn't go because I started feeling sickish and my nose was dripping like a leaky faucet. However, I'm glad I did make it for the stayover. It was just very good, easy going and comfortable company. We didn't even do much except slack around, chat, and watch a movie: Taken. It wasn't too bad, quite sad at parts, especially the human trafficking scenes. Pretty hard breaking, the sacrifices some people are forced to make. We had supper at the coffeeshop outside Dawn's place because a few of us were hungry. Joanna got cheated by Lucy into ordering a muturbak which I ended up finishing. At this rate I'm really gonna get a belly! HAHA. Alicia, Jo, Dawn and I slept on the cold hard parquet floor. Poor Dawn got evicted from her own bed. As a result, we all woke up with aching backs and once Lucy went to the toilet, Dawn and I pounced onto the bed. HAHAHA that slut Joanna went up without telling us.

Was supposed to meet Alicia (who left earlier with Lucy) at 3pm to go down to starhub at TM for an interview but I woke up at 2.40pm and so we arranged to meet at 4.30 instead. Ended up meeting her at 5. Hahahaha, so we went down and guess what? The manager wasn't there. Sheesh. So Jasmine said she'll let us know when to come down again. I'm pretty excited about the job, partly because I haven't worked for 3 years (I do not consider my tuition teaching to be a real job even though people earn loads going just that)and also because I think going out and earning some money beats lazing and rotting at home practically everyday. Heck I think I might even be looking forward to army, though I am quite sure this will come back to bite my ass a few months down the road.

Gonna play mahjong again later at 11pm, hahaha, wish me luck. :)

Excited much!

2010-04-07T16:14:00.003+08:00

An email from a Finnish couple Joanna and I met in Phu Quoc, Vietnam some time back while we were backpacking. I offered to bring them around Singapore. Super excited! Any suggestions?

An epiphany?

2010-04-02T16:33:00.000+08:00

You Scored as French/Spanish/OtherLanguage

You should strongly consider majoring (or minoring) in a foreign language, especially French or Spanish as they have a greater use in today's world. But other languages could be useful to you as well, such as Chinese, Japanese, German, Italian, or many others. With a major in a foreign language you could teach, or work for a company as a translator or foreign correspondant.

It is possible that the best major for you is your 2nd, 3rd, or even 5th listed category, so be sure to consider ALL majors in your OTHER high scoring categories (below). You may score high in a category you didnt think you would--it is possible that a great major for you is something you once dismissed as not for you. The right major for you will be something 1) you love and enjoy and 2) are really great at it.

Consider adding a minor or double majoring to make yourself standout and to combine your interests. A minor in a foriegn language is useful for ANY major. Also, business or political science are great m

French/Spanish/OtherLanguage
94%
Psychology/Sociology
88%
Biology/Chemistry/Geology
88%
English/Journalism/Comm
88%
History/Anthropology/LiberalArts
75%
Visual&PerformingArts
75%
Education/Counseling
75%
PoliticalScience/Philosophy
69%
Nursing/AthleticTraining/Health
63%
HR/BusinessManagement
56%
Religion/Theology
50%
Physics/Engineering/Computer
44%
Accounting/Finance/Marketing
38%
Mathematics/Statistics
38%

Of immunisations and fake crocs

2010-03-03T19:40:00.003+08:00

Been preparing hard for the trip. First up was reading on all the required and recommended immunisation jabs for travellers to Cambodia and Vietnam. I ended up only taking typhoid because of the superb health care system in place for Singaporean students. YAY. So I went down to TPY polyclinic on tuesday to get my typhoid jab and also my malaria pills. It turns out that the pills they gave me were Melfoquine and its not very effective in western Cambodia and the Siem Reap area/ Angkor Wat area because the parasites are resistant to the medication. And taking the pills means that I will not be able to dive, which is a real bummer since that's one of the things I'm looking forward to! So, should I 1) take melfoquine and don't dive, 2) change the pills to doxycycline which is a DAILY dosage/30 plus pills so that I can dive, but risk having extreme sunburn as one of the side effects or 3)not take any malaria medication, pile on insect repellent and pray for the best? That way, I can dive and won't get sunburn! Oh sighs.

So I followed Jo down to TPY polyclinic today for her to get HER typhoid jab. It was damn funny and a Kodak moment when the nurse told her that "it's advisable not to get pregnant within 3 months of receiving the typhoid jab." I quite literally burst out laughing in the consultation room.

Once we were done with the polyclinic, it was around 4, so we proceeded to the coffeeshop opposite the polyclinic for me to grab my lunch since I was famished till no end. There wasn't anything to eat so I ended up with rice and vegetable. Ordered 2 meats and 2 vegs and it was only 3.50!!! Can anyone say cheeeeeeeeap? And it was delicious to boot too. Yay, I is love cheeeeeeeeeap and gooooooooood food. :) We then proceeded back to TPY central to hunt for appropriate footwear for our trip. I was looking at Crocs, but Jo pointed out that we can get the fake ones. And me being the cheapo and kiam siap Singaporean, readily agreed. So we were hunting for fake Crocs and we chanced upon this shop that was selling them for 6.90. 12 if you buy two pairs. We then went on to try out the different pairs, sizes and colours for literally half an hour or more. All this while, the chinese shop assistant was wearing the ugliest most frumpy looking facial expression. I'm quite sure some fresh flowers would have wilted under her intense scowl. After choosing like for ages, I decided upon a RAD *cue ris low* pair which was super comfy, albeit the colour wasn't as pleasant as the yellow while Jo chose the yellow one. Satisfied with our purchases, we decided to part ways and head back home.

Monday was spent trekking from Harbourfront to Mt Faber Park and beyond, all the way to Kent Ridge Park. Dawn, Joanna and I met on the train before heading to Harbourfront together and meeting the rest at Seah Im Food Centre for breakfast. Had Wanton Mee which wasn't fantastic and chatted with Jiayun and Hoon. It turns out that Hoon is almost confirmed in the RSAF as a C3, or controller in laymans' terms. I'm super impressed and have new found respect for her. Hopefully things go well for her, and we might see each other in BMT! Woots.

With our stomachs full, we started on the long ascent up to Mt Faber, through Marang trail which was the same trail I took before. I must say it was a pleasant walk and it did bring back some fond memories from before. Haha. Its a nice place to just chillax and lepak and to chat, not to mention pak tor. The overall feel is very idyllic, tranquil and peaceful. Not to mention beautiful and quiet. We passed by some houses when we were on the Forest Walk. If I remember correctly the road name was Preston Road. It doesn't have Google streetview so I can't show you how beautiful the place is, but it's a very quiet street, with lots of nature, greenary and plants. Very my kinda place, and I've added it to the dream house list which comprises of my grandparents' shophouse, a place in Seletar or the one at Preston Road. I definitely should start on making more dough if I'm to accomplish any of those dreams. Heh.

Dawn wanted to give up halfway through and I think she looked like she was dying. Maybe it was the unbearable humidity and heat. Or maybe it was just the distance. But I could tell she was so glad for it to be over. Haha. When we reached Kent Ridge, we bade the rest goodbye as I accompanied Dawn home together with YA, Alicia, Joanna and MY. We took a bus to Holland Drive where we quenched our insatiable thirst and hunger at Hans cafe before parting ways and heading back. Jo and I took 147 all the way back and we were saying we should try falling asleep before the old people start boarding. That was, we can retain our seats without being criticised for magically falling asleep when old people appear. But of course, we being civic minded youths with good upbringing, willingly gave up our seats to the elderly. Hahaha..

That's the summary of my past few days. Nothing extraordinary, but very well spent I would say. I'm starting to feel the after-effects of the rejection letter. Its not like I'm emo or anything. I never harboured high hopes in the first place because I knew my eyesight was quite borderline. But still, sending in the application did give me a little hope booster, not to mention the call from the RSAF. But alas, things were not meant to be. It's okay, there's nothing I can't take anyway. Bring it on, we'll see what the Ministry has in plan for me then. As for this dream, I shall shelve it and fulfill it someday, maybe as a commercial pilot.

Out. :)

TGIF!

2010-02-27T15:50:00.003+08:00

Friday was greeeeeaaat! Started off the day by heading to Meng Yu's place for lunch and to bai nian. Her mum was really hospitable and very very cute, I like her character. Heh. She kept calling me Er Zi and Shuai Ge. (Yeah that's why I like her. *wink*) MY's mum cooked ALOT of food. There was like abalone and asparagus, assam prawns, fried pork/bacon thing, mushrooms with black fungus, a huge-ass pot of delicious soup, and 2 large pizza hut pizzas, a loaf of garlic bread and 10 pieces of spicy drumlets. That's alot of food for like 6 people, 3 of which are girls who don't really eat alot. Poor Isk the Ma Lai Ren had only pizzas, garlic bread and drumlets to eat the whole day cause the rest of the food wasn't halal. I foresee him abstaining from Pizza Hut for a long time to come. After the food, we adjourned to MY's room to slack and to watch a movie. We picked Paranormal Activity even though I would gave preferred Bodyguards and Assassins. It was an okay movie I guess, not particularly scary, just very intriguing for me because I kept trying to figure out if it was based on true facts/stories or not. Apparently there are many alternate endings, a product of a quick search on google and wikipedia.

After the movie, everyone just nua-ed around, chatted and did nothing productive. We took lots of stupic self-timer shots that I'm waiting for MY to upload. HAHA. We were supposed to head to Chomp Chomp for dinner and by the time we finally dragged everyone up to leave the house, we realised that MY's mum had cooked, yet again, alot of food for us. SO we abandoned our dinner plans and stayed back to eat instead. Joanna that bitch kept piling her rice on my plate, and even though I was extremely full, I still finished the rice. Carbo TTM. Lol. As usual the food was really good, But Isk had only pizzas, again. Hahahahahaha, I think he ate like 6 slices of pizza? OMG. After dinner, we went back to her room (see the unhealthy pattern? slack and eat only -.-''') and started slacking again. Watched Jo sleep and Lucy surf FB. At around 845pm, we decided to leave, Jo had to head to her relative's wake and Lucy's addiction started up again;she wanted to go clubbing. but as we all had no mood, no one entertained her. We decided that everybody should head home first, before we meet up again later after Jo was done with the wake to go for a spin.

Alas, my parents were super hip and weren't back until super late, so I ended up taking the van instead. Stupid Lucy ended up going to Rebel instead so I picked Jo and MY up first. When I arrived at Jo's place, she was walking to the van when I decided to ji seow her. So everytime she approached the van I would inch it forward a little. LOL, 'twas damn funny to see her face react to that. So we picked My up after that before heading to Jalan Kayu to have prata and kambing soup. FTW!! I decided to park a few metres from the stall we were gonna patronise, and because the small road at Jalan Kayu is only 2 lanes, my van was taking up like 3/4 of the road, so I hastily reversed into the lot, only to stop like inches from this umbrella pole. I think I scared the shit out of MY and Jo who thought I was gonna crash into the pole. HAHAHA, girls can trust my driving a lil more not? TSK. So we had our meal of 2 egg pratas, mutton briyani, kambing soup, 2 milo dinosaurs and 1 iced milo. Grace didn't wanna come cause she was tired, but I think she eventually slept at like the same time as us? Lol.

With our stomachs filled, we decided to check out the seletar area, near SYFC and seletar airport. I must say that the area has changed tremendously! I will never forget my first time to that area. We were taking Gary's old car, the Peugeot convertible, and all I remember were sloping green hills and azure blue skies. I remember thinking to myself then that if I couldn't get my dream shophouse for a home, I definitely wouldn't mind the houses at the seletar area. Its so tranquil and peaceful! Albeit a lil' expensive eh. Hehe. We tried to go to the airport, but alas the road was cut off due to some construction works. So I detoured to a place I'd been to before, the seletar dam. The poor girls were sitting at the back like human traffickers and I couldn't drive fast cause the road was bumpy and windy, so I basically held up traffic behind me. Lol. When we finally reached, we just decided to slack around the place. The weather was very cooling, and everyone around basically just drove there to slack and chat. We took some photos and I'm waiting for My to upload the one where I was on TOP of the van, gaining nirvana. HAHAHA, gonna be my new profile pic! Super like it!

We left around 4 I think, the girls were dying to pee so we went back to Jalan Kayu. Along the way we saw this convoy of really shiny, cool looking bikes. Joanna told me to rev the engine super loudly while we passed them and I did. Like super courting for trouble, but it was all in the name of good fun. Went back to the prata place to relieve ourselves before I sent the girls back. Had loads of fun, what a waste that Lucy wasn't there. Heh. Shouldn't life be like this? Spent in the good company of friends. :)

Played mahjong today at Jo's aunty's place. Haven't been there in ages. I won $17 initially but lost $30 subsequently, so nett losses of $13. :( There was this game where I had SUPER unimaginably crazy cards. I started with alot of Wind tiles, like Dong, Nan, Xi, Bei. And like Hong Zhong, Bai Ban and Fa Cai. So Jo threw Bei and I ponged, she threw 9 Wan and I ponged, she threw Fa Cai and I ponged, she threw Hong Zhong I ponged. So if you've been following, I had one last tile left which was Bai Ban. Being the greedy me, I decided to keep it, which was quite silly on hindsight. I ended up throwing three 4 Wan eventually. Zi mo fail TTM!!! I kept switching my tiles between Ban Yao Jiu and Pong Pong Ban Se Xiao San Yuan. And I had like 3 tai of flowers. I ended up not gaming at all. OMG I think a part of me died when I threw 6 Wan for Jo to game 1 tai. THAT BITCH.

So that wraps up my Saturday. Quite fruitful and fun. I skipped meeting my relatives from China who were visiting en-route to Australia. Hahaha. I'm meeting Jia-hao tomorrow before he flies off to India. It'll be a long time till we next meet since I'll be on my backpacking trip so have a safe and 'fun' experience dude! I guess it won't be as bad as you'd expect it to be. Just treat it as an eye-opening experience eh? :)

New skin!

2010-02-26T00:57:00.002+08:00

Okay time to revive this old space. I've changed the template. Took quite some time getting used to the 'new' blogger template. Apparently I've been so out of touch, there are so many changes!

I like the new colour scheme, pleasant on the eyes. Hopefully it shows how I have matured. HAHA! School's out, with a bang too! BCM was unusually manageable so I'm crossing my fingers that it's able to salvage my paltry scores for the term test. 26/50, seriously wtf. I've never done that badly in poly, and I think the lack of enthusiasm has shown in my work. =/ Apart from that, I'm sure I'll miss my friends in poly. Yeah I grumble and stuff, but seriously I don't think I've regretted coming here? Fair enough la, met a few friends whom I know I'll keep for life, right Cs? *winks*

I'm hungry, and I don't wanna type anymore. Gonna grab food, out!

2009-11-01T00:28:00.002+08:00

WOOHOO! Yours truly exercised my right as a licensed driver and drove for the first time today! But no Subaru. =/ I think my dad traded cars with a colleague or something, so it was an auto Nissan. But it was still fun and on hindsight, I'm pretty glad that it was auto. Because when it came to parking it was quite challenging without the poles, but I still managed parallel parking and vertical parking! *patpat*

I drove from Jurong Point (because my parents wanted to check it out) all the way home, stopping along the way for supper. Driving on the highway wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. Looking forward to driving to tuition tomorrow. And since my parents will be going out, I'll be the chauffeur again. Yay, more driving. =)

Anyway prior to meeting my parents at JP, I went to Telok Blangah to meet my aunt and give thanks to a medium for Guan Yin. My aunt had asked me to pray before going out on Friday for my driving test and so I said that if I passed, I would go down to the medium and give my thanks. When I reached the place (it was a HDB flat) it was pretty quiet, not crowded and noisy as I had expected. The medium was attending to another devotee so i offered some joss sticks and waited at the side with my aunt for our turn. This guy came up to me ans we started chatting casually. It started with mundane questions about me like where was I studying, etc etc. Then he started to relate his side of the story on how he became a believer. Apparently this Guan Yin specifically comes down to heal the sick. Tony(the guy) had a tumour at the back of his head which doctors said would take at least a year to remove with surgery and chemo. He heard of this medium so he decided to come down and check it out, even though he was initially a Christian. When he arrived, he told Guan Yin about his problem. She then burned some joss sticks and used the wooden ends of the joss sticks as acupuncture needles to treat him. After that she told him to turn around and she started to 'operate' on his head. Now I don't think I am a very religious person so I was starting to feel a lil skeptical by then, but obviously I shut up and continued listening to his story. He said he could feel something going into his head but there wasn't any pain. Then he felt that lump in his head being removed, and it was over. After that he went to the doctors and they said that his tumour had gone! Sounds typical of many faith healing stories right? That's what I was thinking too. But the dude was obviously a real believer, I could see it in his eyes. So even though I found it hard to believe, I decided to respect his experience.

Then it was my turn, so I went up to the table the medium was sitting at. Since I had no ailments and no problems I just told Guan Yin that I was here to give thanks because I passed my driving test. Guan Yin decided to take my pulse just to see if there was anything wrong with me( there isn't). She told me to drive carefully, not to speed with others and I'll be fine. She also said that I'm not a 'problem kid' so she told my aunt not to worry, except for the fact that I sometimes let curiosity get the better of me. So she said I have to watch out and decide for myself what's right and what's wrong. She said I'll be fine since I have good judgment. Lol. So that was the end of my consultation, nothing spectacularly spiritual or miraculous, but it did put alot of thoughts into my head.

There was this woman who went there with a stiff thumb. Apparently she has been having it for quite some time. Guan Yin took a look and said it was because her meridian points or xue dao in Chinese were blocked. So she took the joss sticks and used them to administer accupuncture. It wasn't just a simple prod on the finger, rather it was quite a number of steps and looked complicated, but after she was done the lady could bend her thumb slightly! sShe definitely wasn't as dexterous as you or I, but it was a vast improvement from when she came. I don't know what to put of it. To believe that a higher power exists? I can't say that I'm a total believer, I can't explain how Guan Yin works her mojo and miracles, and I can't say for sure its a hundred percent true. Moreover, we live in the 21st century and I'm a firm believer in modern medicine. But there are times and occasions when such occurrences happen and medical science can't prove anything. Faith healing isn't confined just to Taoism and Buddhism, I believe every religion has some aspect of it. I feel that even though it shouldn't replace modern medicine as a cure-all, sometimes, Man just has to place his faith and believe in someone higher than us all. Fascinating isn't it? I am super intrigued by tonight's turn of events.

Turned out to be a good night. I am supremely satisfied now, full tummy and all. And its perfect cooling weather to turn in now! Good night folks.

2009-10-04T00:46:00.002+08:00

Okay I got the inspiration to blog again because I've just had the weirdest dream ever and I wanted to record it down for...provenance sake. So I thought I might as well blog about today too since it was fun.

Woke up early in the morning at 1030 to meet Jiahao and Joanna for lunch. And this was after sleeping for only 3 hours just a few moments earlier. We met at Parkway where Hao wanted to eat at this western place which had been reviewed in the papers. I didn't feel like doing western so we settled for chicken rice instead, which was good too! Halfway through eating, Hao just asked me if I wanted to go sing K at Katong, and since I've always wanted to check the place out, I agreed. Turns out that the K really lived up to its name on the forums. Its high-tech, has decently recent songs, and the sound system is really good IMO. In short I had a blast there, and I think the other two did too. Anyway we sang all the way till 6 before our time was up, it was 13 bucks each and I'm sorry I had to extort money from you guys, its not that I want to, but I'm really high and dry now, so yea. =/

Bused back alone while Joanna went down to Vivo, and i dozed off on the bus! Which goes to show how tired I was. Now the weird part starts here after I reached home, bathed and slept.

I dreamt that I was in this weird place with Joanna and Jiahao, doing what I can't remember.(I think it wasn't stated in the dream.) Anyway we were sort of enjoying ourselves doing something when I got separated from them. I was chasing after someone and it led me to this stairway so i ran up the stairway from the ground floor to the 18th floor. When I reached the top I realised that I had been locked in the stairwell by that 'someone'. There was this little hole in the door, the kind they have in prisons which you can see through, just that this wasn't with glass. So I stuck my hand through trying to unlock the door from the outside. This was when that someone wrenched by hand and sort of twisted it in an awkward angle. It was bloody painful and I realised that that 'someone' turned out to be Jingying! Anyway she left me in a bad shape and ran off, to get Joanna and Jiahao.

Somehow I miraculously healed myself and managed to get out of that stairwell. I ran back to find Joanna and Jiahao and that was when I met Jiahao's mother. Just that in my dream she was this really fat woman, which is totally untrue if you have met Mrs Law. So, somehow i started arguing with her outside the door to this room along a passageway. And i distinctly recall calling her a 'fat bitch'. The argument escalated and became real bad and we burst through the door, our faces all flushed. That was when I saw Joanna and Jiahao. By that time, his mum had become so angry that she said she was gonna exterminate us all, yes she said exterminate. So Jiahao, Joanna and I started running for our lives again. We found this car and I jumped into the front passenger seat with Jiahao taking the wheel and Joanna the back. We drove for like super long but Jiahao's mum caught up with us and threw the 3 of us into this nuclear reactor. She said she was gonna blast us with some nuclear fission or something.

When we heard that, the 3 of us just went ballistic, not in a scared way, but in a defiant, taunting way. And we were jeering at Jiahao's mum. So she locked us in and went off. As she left we were shouting at her and saying that she wasn't finishing us off, we were willingly taking our own lives, blablabla, you get the drift. This was when the perspective changed to a 3rd person. This group of people were chilling somewhere random and then this huge explosion just erupted from the reactor. They all turned toward the direction, mouth agape and horrified. As the smoke cleared, Joanna and I staggered out of the dust, apparently unscathed. Jiahao disappeared, maybe he died, I'm not very sure. So Joanna and I got into the same car we were in previously, and we started discussing about how miraculous it was that we were alive. I was saying maybe we survived the initial radiation, but our cells were slowly mutating and we would eventually die. But Joanna was adamant that all we were subjected to was a dose of IL2 chemotherapy a la Izzie Stevens in Grey's Anatomy. It was freaking hilarious.

So anyway I was taking the wheel and I decided to drive to my grandma's place in Serangoon. She lives just above the place where I go to cut my hair. It was totally random but she open the door and let ud in. That was when our skins started peeling but my grandma just swept them out of the house and said that we would live. And we did eventually... That was when I woke up.

The dream was so random but when I was dreaming it it felt so real and the fear was just indescribable, especially when I was chasing after Jingying in that stairwell. I though it'd be cool to record it down before I forget it, and since I haven't had such a solid dream in a long time. Sorry Jiahao! I didn't mean to call your mum a fat bitch. It was just a dream. Haha.

I'm off for some telly therapy!

2009-09-07T23:53:00.000+08:00

Something fun and pretty accurate to break the long drought.

Your result for The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test...

9 - the Peacemaker

Thanks for taking the test !

you chose BX - your Enneagram type is NINE (aka "The Mediator")

"I am at peace"

Peacemakers are receptive, good-natured, and supportive. They seek union with others and the world around them.

How to Get Along with Me

• If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially don't like expectations or pressure.

• I like to listen and to be of service, but don't take advantage of this.

• Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit.

• Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It's OK to nudge me gently and nonjudgmentally.

• Ask me questions to help me get clear.

• Tell me when you like how I look. I'm not averse to flattery.

• Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings.

• I like a good discussion but not a confrontation.

• Let me know you like what I've done or said.

• Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life.

What I Like About Being a NINE

• being nonjudgmental and accepting

• caring for and being concerned about others

• being able to relax and have a good time

• knowing that most people enjoy my company; I'm easy to be around

• my ability to see many different sides of an issue and to be a good mediator and facilitator

• my heightened awareness of sensations, aesthetics, and the here and now

• being able to go with the flow and feel one with the universe

What's Hard About Being a NINE

• being judged and misunderstood for being placid and/or indecisive

• being critical of myself for lacking initiative and discipline

• being too sensitive to criticism; taking every raised eyebrow and twitch of the mouth personally

• being confused about what I really want

• caring too much about what others will think of me

• not being listened to or taken seriously

NINEs as Children Often

• feel ignored and that their wants, opinions, and feelings are unimportant

• tune out a lot, especially when others argue

• are "good" children: deny anger or keep it to themselves

NINEs as Parents

• are supportive, kind, and warm

• are sometimes overly permissive or nondirective

Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele, The Enneagram Made Easy. Discover the 9 Types of People.

Harper: San Francisco, 1994, 161 pages

You liked the test? so S P R E A D I T ! tell everyone!!!

(copypaste the HTML-code from below to your profile or blog!)

please, leave a comment HERE

you wanna know MORE? so check out, what Wikipedia says about your type... ...even more you'll find in Google

_____________________

You are not completely happy with the result?!

You chose BX. Use the BACK-button of your browser to see the other options.

Take The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test at HelloQuizzy

2009-05-20T19:45:00.005+08:00

Who wants to sign up for the Ezyhealth Asianic Inline Cup 2009 with me? Its the very first, inaugural competitive night skate event in Singapore! Let me know soon because I'm really excited about this and I would love to join!

Click on the link for more details.

2009-03-05T18:45:00.002+08:00

Played mahjong and lost $20, and that's not counting the $25 that I didn't pay Joanna cause she owes me. After that i went for driving which was cool cause he let me drive all the way to Punggol and around the area. Got to see a little of the setting sun at Punggol beach and i drived past Joanna's AhYi's crib. I was lucky cause I didn't meet any mean drivers; the kind who will purposely make things difficult for learner drivers. So next time when I get my license (which will be soon), I'll be nice to learner drivers too!

Joanna and I were talking about internships (again). She said something I refuse to believe in, I don't think I need anymore dissapointment. But I'd feel so terribly bad if that were to happen. I really hope it wouldn't. I mean, sounds silly, but I don't know how I would face you. TBH, I'll rather we go through something shitty together. Anyway did this cause 'twas interesting. I'm not surprised at the results.

What is your True Fear? Your Result: Losing Someone You love affection and the people in your life more than anything. Your greatest fear is that one day someone you care about won't be there anymore. You are a very friendly and inviting person, who draws in a lot of friendships with your kind, considerate, and loyal nature. However, deep down you are slightly insecure and unsure of yourself. You couldn't deal with it if you didn't have one of your loved ones in your life anymore. You don't have too much to worry about though, because with a friend like you, no one will want to lose you either!
Being Alone
Disappointment
Death
Where Your life is Going
Looked down on
Commitment
http://www.gotoquiz.com/what_is_your_true_fear">What is your True Fear? http://www.gotoquiz.com/">Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

2009-03-01T03:16:00.001+08:00

Hmmm, I just got wind that our SIP results will be made known the week before 16th March, which is also my birthday week. Happy Birthday?

2009-02-25T00:42:00.003+08:00

Exams are finally over! The papers were... so-so. I've lost whatever vestiges of drive I've had from Year 1, so we'll see how this main exam goes. Truth be told, I know I myself have not put in much effort. Not to mention I was ill for Secsur and Airport Systems 2.

I think I may know the reason why I don't really give a damn about school anymore. But I think to attribute it solely to that reason would be really immature. I guess, no matter what, the control lies in my hands. But I won't pretend it didn't affect me. I'm beginning to wonder if some people really do need affirmation. Is it really that amusing to do it over and over again? Call me bias but I'm starting to see the signs all over, and its disturbing. How good really is the situation we're in now? I only hope you never end up on the other side of the playing field; because no one is gonna give a damn about the reserve team. People only look at winners, no one bothers about the loser, even if he's got a damn fine reason.

At the very least I know how I want to spend my one month before leaving for China. Finally going to pursue my driving again. I've stopped since god knows when and I think its time to take it up again, before my theories expire by the end of the year. Oh and I've decided to increase my physical fitness level. Army is about a year or so from now and I don't want to have problems with the physical stuff, at the very least. So any running khakis? Route will be around my area, preferably at night where its cooler. I'm very sick of funning like a hamster on the bloody treadmill. Mahjong is highly needed as well. I need my respite.

For now, I shall turn to dota. C'est ça! Au revoir!

2009-02-21T20:24:00.002+08:00

Decided to blog again.

First 2 papers have come and gone and what can I say about it? Just really horrible, compared to my previous semesters. I think I've really been cutting myself just WAY too much slack. So much so that my grades have been on a downward spiral since 1.1. To think when i just entered poly, I did contemplate aiming to make the D List or something. What a joke now seriously. I don't think its something beyond my capabilities, but it is a little too late now isn't it? And I'm just way too darned lazy. Well, at the very least I've the weekend to prepare well for the last 2 papers. I think i really will kill myself if i flunk them. How do you put it... they're dead giveaways, albeit still content-intensive.

Apart from academics, the thing that's really lingering on my mind is internships. I know its ironic, especially since I was the one who decided not to worry about them. Its nothing within my control anyway. But what I think really tipped the scales was when I was told by WB about the "bad news". Seriously, i just think it was a bad time; I was fresh out of a paper I wasn't all that confident of. And i can put myself into your shoes, some matters really have to be kept confidential, but why can't you let them stay that way? Don't come telling me there's bad news and then tell me you can't tell me what the bad news is. I know your intention wasn't to mock us, but that's only because I think I know you as a person. I'd probably think I was being mocked at if it were anybody else. So, let me apologise for my foul reaction, but I don't think its was all my fault. Its just something that matters to us, even if we don't show it. But then again, I think my worse fears are confirmed. I don't expect to be given any of my choices for internship, and I'm not gonna point fingers anymore. I'm ready, but it'll probably still sting.

Family isn't doing too good either. If ou don't know what happened, well, I don't go around giving everyone a detail-by-detail account of my life. To cut the long story short, Joshua was over at my place when my Dad commented "Your friend no home meh? Must everytime come here stay..." Or something around that line. My god, how did you expect me to react to that? I can't rage against him, he's still my father no matter what. But you can't expect me to not do anything about Joshua too right? Seriously, I think that was one of the worst situations I have ever been in. Seeing that wretched look on Joshua's face was unbearable. But i felt so helpless as well. I guess now the matter's blown over. Talked with J countless times, and i guess its something good. What makes me feel worse is the discrepancy in treatment we get when we go to each others' place. His family had been extremely hospitable and friendly towards me. While my Dad has been, well, I don't know what to say.

Ever since then, its been a very weird feeling whenever he's around. I hardly talk to him, and I know he feels it too. I don't know lah, has anyone bee in a similar situation? I don't know what to do. It isn't as if I have a close relationship with my Dad and he just has to go around shooting off his mouth like nobody's business. I know if he sees this he'll probably say its his house and he's the King. But seriously, sometimes we just don't give a damn.

I won't deny you've been a really responsible father, husband and family man. Family probably ranks first in your heart, and I know you slog your guts out for the family. But to be a good Dad requires more than just putting food and money on the table. I hardly talked to you when I was a kid, we never bonded and the habit followed into adolescenthood. I know its hard on you, especially when I think you've got so many things to share with me, just like I have with you. But its come to a point where I really find it difficult to talk to you about thing's close to my heart. Surprisingly, its always been something I can only do with Mum. I know you love me, but knowing isn't enough, evidently. I understand the reasons behind your actions, yet I still do not think they warrant the attitude you've given my friend. And its not only this incident, there have been countless times I've witnessed you and Dom quarreling. He's hurt you, but what you've told him probably hurt equally hard too.

Like I've reiterated countless times, I don't expect anyone to understand the experiences I go through, even from gay people. Its the endless searching, endless questioning, and the endless need to be better than others, just to prove your point. I'm happy where I currently am, there's no doubt about that and its not a veneer I put on in front of others. But seriously if anyone was given the chance to, noone would choose the path less trodden. Don't get me wrong. I am definitely not pitying the position I'm in. I thin what I've experienced has helped open my eyes to experiences some people will be oblivious to their whole lives. And whatever the future outcome, I will never resent this period of my life, for it has helped mould the Daryl you guys all know (and have come to love. or will come to. hahaha.) What I am thankful for, are friends who listen. Joanna was right. Sometimes you don't need people to solve your problems, you just need someone who listens, and I've got those good friends.

So Dad, I'm sorry if I've disappointed you in more ways than just this. But I just don't agree with you that sexuality is majorly a choice. And it definitely is not a mental illness, as you've aptly put it. I don't blame you, really. In fact, all this coolness aches badly, deep inside, for I know that at the end of the day, I still love you. I don't think that I can ever be someone who can turn his back on his parents. I detest such people and I don't respect them. After all your parents have given you, if you can turn around and walk away, you don't deserve the life you've been given.

I may still stay on this path, but I'm always thinking of it....

2008-12-30T03:33:00.002+08:00

well, today was the first day of school. what horrid timing right? i was actually quite okay with school, cause i would get to meet my friends again, so nevermind about the holiday/festive season. BUT, as always, being around joanna and her constant blabbering about how horrid the timing is for school, i have started to find it a real drag having to, well, drag myself to school everyday now when others are enjoying their holidays. sigh.

so we headed to school today, and something realy ridiculous happened enroute to TP. i was on 23 with joanna and we were about to head up the highway when the bus suddenly stopped for a period of time. i was starting to wonder what had happened when the bus driver came up the steps and started looking around. then he headed to the back to this poly student and this transpired.

bus uncle: boy where you going? you pay $1 only right?
student: *something very soft that i couldnt hear*
bus uncle (in a louder voice): go temasek not only $1! poly student already, no student fare! come down and pay $1.60 more.

by this time the whole upper deck was gawking like nobody's business already. but the uncle proceeded to humiliate the poor boy by waiting for him and beckoning. i felt so indignant for the poor boy. alright, granted he did under-pay his fare, according to SBS Transit's guidelines, but was it really necessary to humiliate him in public? i'm very sure he would have obliged to pay his correct fare even if the driver had spoken to him in a more civilised tone. sometimes i wonder if such people have an ego problem. maybe they need to periodically put people down to feel good about themselves. its so sickening to watch.

so anyway, we headed to school wayyyyyyy earlier than the time school starts so that we could finish busfund project. ours was extremely brief and concise. and its my most last-minute work, ever! now that's saying something. i just hope we'll do well enough to get an A. and i did get my first A today for business fundamentals. heh. i expected nothing less, but i think i should not have made that many careless mistakes.

tomorrow's security and surveillance. i hope i don't get a really horrid grade...

2008-12-27T17:34:00.003+08:00

im at home now waiting for mahjong to start in about.... 4 hours? joshua's sleeping beside me so i've got nothing to do. was so sick of playing geochallenge already because my brain is dead now so i decided to take a break and blog.

last night was spent with joshua. i met him in town to check out the course he's interested in. some make-up course. it costs roughly 4k! which is kinda expected considering its a private school. so we enquired a little about the course before joshua took the brchures for further consideration. so when we left, we started to walk towards lido. and i guess we had a really good chat. i started talkig to him about myself, like an analysis of my behaviour and sort of explaining why i was gonna play mahjong. (we had originally planned for him to stayover) i know its ultimately a choice i made, but like i said, it doen't mean that the guy making the choice is always having it easier. its a warped analogy and i don't expect anyone to understand it because, well, i think weirdly sometimes. to me, its like the lesser of two evils.

i know cancelling out on him is something he really hates, he's such an organised person, someone drastically different from me. so what made it worse for me was knowing full well i'm doing something he dislikes, but still going ahead with it. in joshua's own words, "its a hopeless case" well, the saving grace was that i think joshua and i can realy connect. its like something that feels so tangible and real. romantic yet not unrealistic. we have our sweet moments, but we don't let it get us carried away. and the thing i really like about being with joshua is that we can talk. talk as in communicate. the similarity we both have is that we don't like to drag things through the mud. maybe he's more persistent than me, but the main point is we can communicate, which to me forms the basis of a relationship.

i'm glad that even though last night's chat ranged from solemn to cheerful, i managed to get what i wanted to convey off my chest. and joshua, i know you'll be reading this, i'm glad you've been this understanding thus far. i know everyone has a limit, and i don't wanna test yours. i feel the need to tell you once more that what i said last night didn't exactly come out the way i meant. i'm usually articulate, i think, but somehow my brain fuzzed up yesterday, so you're not someone unimportant, but someone whose importance grows with the time we spend together. and in retrospect, i think i'm a very very very lucky person. lucky because i have true friends who are mirrors and who let me see the imperfections i'm born with.

i've been through this many times with joanna and jia-hao, and i'm glad that its made our friendships even stronger. jia-hao thought me to balance my friends, joanna taught me the awareness of time (HAHA) and basically how to be more situationally aware. and i'm thankful for all that. i'm changing not because i feel the pressure from the people around me. i make a concerted effort to change because i do not want to hurt the people around me who care for me and who i care for.

so thanks joshua, for teaching me how to make decisions. i can assure you it will come in handy. like i said, his just started, we have no idea how far it'll go, but i'm brimming with confidence. i await the day i'll get my answer.

2008-12-24T03:57:00.006+08:00

i decided to blog because so many things have happened so far, and im really enjoying every bit of my holidays! let's see, first up, MUM'S BiRTHDAY!

mum's birthday was on the 20th, i shall keep her age secret cause she's forever young to me! we had dinner at this chinese restaurant (a first if i rmb correctly, cause the rest were all other exotic cuisines) at grand plaza park hotel. the food was pretty okay, not extremely exorbitant. but i did like the decor of the whole place! just that it was a little empty so we had like 4 waitresses to a table and it was kinda awkward to eat while they were boring their eyes into my back and watching my every movement. hell i couldn't even pick my teeth in peace. HAHA.

i was down at cine before that with joshua to pick a present for my mum. i decided to get an ipod nano for her since she said she wants a music player while she exercises. so after much deliberation, we got the yellow/gold one for her. i was actually deciding between the wii or the nano. well, i didn't know then i'll be getting both. (my mum still wants to get the wii after gettig the nano, so that's good news for me!)

after purchasing it we attempted to wrap the present which wa sitself a challenge already, considering it was three oddly shaped packages that were separate btw! i guess we did the best we could. we failed the first time because the double sided tape wouldn't stick, so i decided to wrap it a second time. thanks alot joshua for helping, i wished you ahd use dthat ribbon you amde, it really was beautiful, and i'm not saying it just because you made it okay! anyway pictures are below. i only uploaded a few because i'm too lazy to upload all, and its late and i wanna sleep soon!

my mum and dad!

family potrait

i told you my mum isn't old..... =)

taken at the entrance. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM!

i know you're a simple woman mum, you don't covet wealth, you don't need a big house, you don't need luxury goods. i remember you once told me you'd rather spend the money on a holiday together than to buy a branded bag because a holiday brings you more happiness with the family while a branded bag brings you heartache, especially when it spoils or gets dirty. its the simple things you've imparted to me that amazes me. i know there are certain wishes of yours i can never fulfil, its not that i do not want to, but for now i think i'm unable to. who know's what's to happen in the future? but for now, i am extremely sorry for letting you down. but thank you for loving me regardless of what i do, i love you too!

okay i really wanna blog about the rest of the time that i spent during the holidays. there was mahjong, zoo, clubbing with joshua which was really really fun, but its 430 now and i gotta wake up at 7, so good luck to me. im gonna sleep, some other day ya? night all!

2008-11-26T22:55:00.002+08:00

today was a really really funny day. after heping isk with his souveniers thing, joanna, lekning and i proceeded to buy twine and ice cream cause i suddenly had the craving. (i seriously think im pregnant. weird cravings, insatiable appetite and such.) so anyway after getting the ice cream and twine, we bade lekning goodbye.

so joanna and i were walking back home, happily eating our delicious, but extremely small and exorbitant ice creams. we walked past this bubble tea shop just in front of prime supermart. suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, i spotted this 'thing' on the chair next to me. so i turned to look at what it was. it turned out to be a chameleon that was about a metre or slightly shorter(tail included la) i took like a split second to comprehend what i was looking at (it was staring straight at me), before i let out the loudest, most high pitched shriek i ever emitted. i screamed like so bloody loud and shoved joanna so hard in a bid to get away from the lizard because i thought it was gonna jump on me. i've seen how fast those buggers move and i guess i wasn't prepared for the chameleon la.

the funny thing was when i shrieked so loudly, i scared this auntie walking behind us and she screamed too. it was soooooooooooooo fucking funny now that i look back on it. and i swear its one of the defining moments i share with joanna. actually there are alot of such incidences la. but its still damn funny. you should have seen the look on the aunty's face. thank god she doesn't have any heart problems if not i think i'll have to do cpr or something. it was so funny, to me at least, that i didn't feel THAT embarrassed. i mean, sure i think everyone in a 10 mile radius heard me, but its such moments you'll look back with your friends and laugh off, isn't it?

so joanna, i;m sorry if i embarrassed you. but at least i brought you laughter!

2008-11-05T17:29:00.002+08:00

i have realised how fortunate i am today. i was rushing for dental this morning when i noticed this lady at the bus stop outside my place. she wasn't very old, but had a few grey strands. i'll place her at her late fourties? anyway i noticed her because of her white cane; she's blind. at first i was kinda stunned, because i was wondering how she would get onto the bus she wanted to, so after a moment i decided to go up to her to ask what number she was waiting for, and i could alert her when the bus came.

she told me she was heading to potong pasir mrt which was just 2 stops away so she could board any service number, so i waited for her and when the next bus came, i helped her up, and since i was heading to the mrt too i boarded as well. on the bus i met this lady who was kind enough to gove up her seat, and though we didn't speak much, a look and a smile said it all. we arrived and the 3 of us alighted, but as the lady had to catch another bus, i said that i could accompany the blind lady to wait for 142 which goes to toa payoh. so i guided her to a seat and waited for the bus.

now i must admit i did think of the time, i was gonna run late if i didn't leave soon, but how could i leave that poor lady behind? it was my responsibility since i agreed to beforehand, so i just waited. i admit it wasn't what they made it all up to be, there was an awkward silence between the lady and me, even though i made small talk but didn't talk too much or probe in case i offended her.

then the bus came, and i helped her up and luckiy there was a seat near the driver's seat, so i let her sit there while i told the captain[bus] that she was going to TPY and could he help me look after her. he said it wasn;t a problem and i could count on him, so i bade the woman goodbye, asked her to be careful and left. i wished i could have helped her all the way to TPY but then i had something on. and i'm lucky i met a bus captain kind enough to look after her.

now, when they say you feel good when you've helped someone, its true. i really felt like i've done something meaningful today, for once in my life. and it just amde me recall the time when joanna told me we should go do something really meaningul once in our lifetimes. you never know the rewards it'll bring you. though not monetary, but nevertheless enriching.

so that was just my little story for today, nothing big, but i'm glad i made the decision to approach that lady. it really amde me feel so fortunate that i have the 5 senses i was born with. i don't know what i'll do if i lost one of them. i probably won't die, but i don't think it'll be easy for me to find the strength needed to continue down the path of life.

so have you done something to help the others around you?

on another note, happy birthday iskandar! you're 18! and i hope you like dthe little surprise we got you. though i always complain and make snide remarks, you know i love having you as a friend.

joyeux anniversaire mon ami iskandar!

now i'm running late for french lessons. salut! bon soir!

2008-10-29T00:33:00.002+08:00

okay okay, i sense a revolt! been too darn lazy to update, ever since i came back which was like donkey ages ago! gosh.

holidays are over, pictures aren't here yet because i'm lazy and very very busy. don't disturb me please or i'm gonna bust my own ass. proposal by this friday.... hmm, i believe in myself. HAHA. well, nothing much has happened so far, the one's i rmb are getting my blades, finally! going blading from bedok to raffles's place and back, but it was really really fun, and i slept like a log after that.

starting school and getting to ahng out with all my cool friend's in school. i don;t know why but i just seemed to miss them over the holidays, even though we did meet up. aww, aren't you guys touched? haha. anyway i just watched les miserables on HBO. i caught the play many many times, but it was the first time i caught the movie. it was good, for a movie, but one cannot expect the literary richness that is present in the novel or the play. it was the same with the phantom of the opera. nonetheless i enjoyed the movie because its very thought provoking, at least for me. makes me question our motive on this place, and the results of our actions. but its a little too late to delve into that, plus i'm feeling too tired to give an analysis of the whole play. if we every get down to it, i'll be glad to explain it to anyone to the best of my intepretation. and i should read the novel, never got down to doing it.

short update here, my com is rushing me to restart and i'm not in the mood to write much now. just know that french lessons are starting tomorrow! i'm so excited! and i've gotten down start writing, i don't know how far it'll go, but its gonna be a fun experience. to all my JC people! hang in there love, cause its gonna be over! hugs and night all. =)

2008-09-21T18:47:00.003+08:00

i am sick!

this totally sucks. my whole family was falling ill and i thought i would be the last standing man. apparently not! i ended up falling sick after everyone got well, retarded reaction. hahaha.

so it all started on friday when the clique came over for steamboat. we went chungcheng early in the mroning first. it was liberating to be back in cchs. all the memories flooded back, esoecially in our old classroom. how i realy miss the old days, but i don't want to go back. because i feel that we should always be forward looking. there's nothing wrong with missing the good ol' days as they say it, but it happened already. i had a good past, now i look forward to a better future! anyway we were walking around looking for teachers. dimple lai was expectedly not in school because of her HOD course. but i was staring at her picture outside the GO and i must say she did impact me someway or another. i am pretty blessed ain't i? so we went to find our other teachers. met mr soon at the canteen. (the stalls are the same!!) met mr lam as well. met our chinese teacher ji lao shi and it was very nice chatting with her. she was as usual, in her elegant poise and posture. i think the way she carries herself is really a leaf this younger generation can take out of her book. anyway we after that we went to meet mrs veronica tan! haha she is like the gossip queen of the 2nd level. and she is the only one who will entertain us. i think she is a really good natured teacher, its a pity she only thought us for like half a yr in sec 3 and disappeared. we gossiped with her till it was around 3 plus before leaving for parkway to get the ingredients for the coming steamboat.

we headed to Giant at parkway to get the food and as usual mr NAT LAW bought all the balls which he vehemently said he'll eat, in the end so many were left over at my place. next time we're not gonna believe you anymore! haha. we bought lots of food la, really. then we cabbed over to my place where the boys were so intriguied by that uRobic thing my parents got from OSIM when they got the massage chair. it was free i think.

after that we started cooking the food, and massacreing the food really. (it was cut so unevenly and in all different shapes and sizes. esp the chicken!) but what matters is the final product, the steamboat, which tasted damn good! we all ate till we were totally bloated. but even then there was almost more than half the steamboat still filled with food. not to mention 2 plates of uncooked food. so basically my family had steamboat for lunch and dinner the following days. surprisingly the food's all gone now. HAHA explain the rotundness of my family.

after dinner was the asshole taitee and mahjong session. it was damn funny seeing jiahao and yuxin draw like 17 cards. WTF. haha. i didn't play much, until the end when joanna left her throne and i took over. she damn loser la. from start till finish all 10 chips only. HAHA. and she was highly pleasured by my massage chair, the images can't leave my brain now. =/

they all left around 12, to catch the last bus back. it was a pity joanna and i had to go out early the next morning, if not i would have initiated a stayover. so once the party was over i went to clean up, then showered and prepared for bed. by that time i was starting to have a runny nose and that feeling you get when you know you're falling ill. truth betold i woke up the next morning feeling like i had swallowed a stone and had a train ram into my face' my sinuses were just so so so blocked, it felt terrible. i'm not exaggerating, but i felt much better especially after the hot shower.

went to meet isk and jo because we needed to head to JURONG to repair his laptop. it was like TARA seriously. hahaha, but it was fun in a way. we trekked all the way there only to find out that his warrenty is over and the repairs will cost between 500-700 dollars. hey bro, its okay alright. we'll try thiking of a solution to help you. =)

after that we decided to head over to vivo for something. poor YA was paktoring with zulu papa (joking la) and he could only meet us after we were done. so he didn't do much exceot hang around abit before we headed for home. i reached hom aroud 2 or 3 and i slept till 10 plus at night. *shiver* then i woke for dinner which was steamboat (again) before slacking around and going back to sleep again in preparation for tuition today morning. woke at 730 and i felt bad again, but i forced myself to go to tuition anyhow. it was, a different experience la. i was warned that the boy would be really introverted and thus i was kinda prepared. and he's really really quiet. thank goodness i am pretty talkative. can you imagine, it was me talking almost 90% of the time. and the rare occasion when he speaks, it'll be so soft and inaudible that i've got to go so close to hear him. but he's not a bad student, just shy i guess.

tuition overran by about 40 mins so it was 2 before i reached home. i headed to junction 8 to eat before heading home. and once i was home, it was snooze time all the way until now. i hope the illness goes away fast before i fly or something! alright, i'm going out for dinner now, and it has been a long post. au revoir!

oh, i'm glad to say that joanna and daryl are the best of friends once again. =)

2008-09-13T02:52:00.003+08:00

SHIT! i am flabbergasted. they've got more balls than i have.

p.s btw did you realise one of them isn't a girl?

2008-09-13T01:10:00.002+08:00

results are out, unsatisfied for certain subjects. like B+ for airport admin! i thought i did pretty well for the paper, seriously. perhaps it was the assignment and the project cause i know i sucked at that. then, B+ for PICC! oh god. another subject i thought i could score well in. but wait, the worse has to be french. had A s all the way, until i forgot to do my culture quiz*10% gone*, and i guess i didn't do well for role play. B!!! OMFG *faints and dies* i WILL learn from this painful lesson, FUCK. well the only consolation is a managed to maintain my GPA. god knows how.

well, holidays have been.... relaxing. i shan't use boring cause i know my 'boring holidays' will be over soon and i will regret big time. been watching loads of shows recently, i just downloaded the dark knight, grey's anatomy, session 9(some old horror movie) and stepford wives. i can't find 4bia or money not enough II though, apparently the torrent site i ahve doesn't stock such movies. HAHA plus i've been hooked on fa zheng xian feng II recently. kevin cheng ka wing is fucking hot can i tell you? totally drool worthy. and he's 39(?) or 40. UNBELIEVEABLE CAN? hothothot.

i've been doing that *watching shows* for an unhealthy period of time. its like from night all the way till the next day before i sleep. in fact if not for the fact that MY called me at 4 today i would have slept even longer! oh btw i think they're training is damn cool. they had their first familiarisation flight today to vietnam today i dont know if its HCM or hanoi, but its super cool! i hope you guys are enjoying yourselves man! looking forward to drinking with dear lekning and MY. bars please, clubs are not for chatting.

apart from that, nothing big is worth mentioning. OH, i think i'm growing old prematurely. i have no idea how, but i sprained my lower back. now every step is like a torture, i walk with a slight stoop and i have difficulty turning around in bed. WTF I'M ONLY 18! been using the massage chair religiously but to no avail, i just hope it goes away soon! and another thing, my piercing is being a bitch! the second one to be specific. it hurts outta the blue, and when i feel it it feels slightly swollen. so today i decided to take out my stud and clean it properly. i ended up taking a whole 10 mins to get the stud back in! it was so raw and painful, and now it has started leaking weird fluids. eeew. i thought it had healed already, what's happening? its not supposed to be this way.

oh well, that's all. off to watch kevin cheng. HAHAHA. tata people!

2008-09-09T00:48:00.002+08:00

if thats how things are gonna end up then don't say i never tried. 1hr 48 mins and my point is still proven. at least i know i didn't make the wrong decision when i picked up the phone. you say gut feel isn't a concrete reason, of not then why did this happen? think about it.

goodbye then.

2008-09-08T20:13:00.003+08:00

today's tuition was moved to yesterday so my busy night just turned free in the blink of an eye. oh and i'm meeting another prospective students' mum this thurs? hopefully the deal goes through, i could do with some more money, and better financial planning.

today was super super boring. was supposed to meet tim today to get his DS fixed. venue was at somerset but i changed it to city hall since he was going there to get his DS fixed anyway. i think it makes sense doesn't it? oh never mind. reached there and i wanted to go cjeck out this pair of addidas shoes i saw in JUICE. its really really nice high-cut shoes. but the stock's not in yet. i bet its gonna cost a bomb. (more tuition needed) it was then that i found out krado was in the vicinity as well so i thought we could meet up for awhile, since he was moving off too to meet a friend. well, i didnt expect that act to make tim think i was prioritizing other stuff above him. i think its true tim put in more effort than me, because i think he's more into this than me. so i have reached a decision. i hate playing mind games/giving people false hope. i admit there's this attraction? i don't know. but i know nothing's gonna materialise in the near future. i just think a r/s isn't really what i'm looking for now. anyway if you let something go and it really belongs to you, it'll come back. we'l see how things go tonight la, i don't wanna start losing my friends.

anyway today was spent doing nothing much concrete. i bought my skipping rope though, so its time to hit the gym and start working out!

i've been thinking about it, aren't true friends supposed to be mirrors? why then aren't you telling me the stuff i'm doing wrong? you know i'll tell you anything, really, even though i lie and exaggerate. its not something i love doing. it sucks when your mirros start cracking up.

2008-09-06T16:34:00.008+08:00

if you haven't known, the holidays are here! *pops party poppers*

okay la, i know this blog's been dead for a very long time so here i am my loyal fans. hmm, have lots of stuff to blog about. first, the holidays have been filled with mahjong, mahjong and more MAHJONG. off the top of my head i can count... 4 times we played in the last week? first time was a punggol, i lost $75 there. then was 3 jiao at my place on wed. lost $133! OMFG. but wait, the highlight of that night has got to be this.

this is a da san yuan (three big circle), ban se (half colour), yao jiu (one nine) plus 2 zheng hua (2 correct flowers). which mean a total of 17 tai!!!! *takes out calculator* thats a total of $78! but.....as with above, i lost $133! walao! don't ask me why, mahjong's like that one. so before mahjong i was frantically doing mengyu's card. actually not really frantically, started at 9. by the time joanna came over it was 11 and i had only completed the happy birthday part. that was when we decided to proceed to play mahjong first. after it all ended, was around 7 when i started on the card again. stopped at 10 to sleep so it was a total of 5 hours (combined) on the card. but it was worth it and i'm really proud of it. so here's 5 hours of hard work. =)

after that i went to sleep before waking up at 12. was a mad rush to get to orchard by 1 cause we were supposed to meet by then. reached late and met mrs ooi and joanna before heading off to find a box to put mengyu's present in. we found this really nice box and a ribbon at taka and decided to get it, even though the ribbon costs $2 fucking dollars when the whole roll was like $1 plus only. but oh well, at least it looked nice. after that we proceeded to swenson's to get the cake and a table. called michelle like a million time sbut he was asleep. turns out he didn't come. -.- oh well, after that MY came, the card was so fucking huge it was sitting under the table but i think she saw it but pretended not to. haha. we ordered like 5 dishes for 4 people! steak for me, mega burger for joanna, fish n chips for mrs ooi and sambal fish and black pepper spaghetti for mengyu. i was still gunning for ice cream until i remembered we still had the ice cream cake. HAHA.

joanna and i deployed the 'let's go toilet' tactic again so i could finish writing the messages for nat dawn alicia and michelle on the card. i wished they were written personally, but too bad. after that when mengyu came back we celebrated with the cake and presents, and of course cream smearing wasn't left out. i'd love to have lekning on my team anytime! i'm really glad we made the effirt to put something up, especially since it has been such a looooong belated birthday. and i hoped you liked our little gift and card mengyu! happy 18th birthday dear! =)

friday was spent doing nothing cause i woke up at 3. had tuition until 10 before heading back to prepare for mahjong again. joanna came over and we started at like 12. so sad there weren't any heart thumping da san yuan moments. and it was a night of losses again. $60. i swear if i stopped playing mahjong i will be a rich rich rich boy. =/ we stopped around 4 cause stanley had tuition at 9 the next morning, but jo and i weren't tired nor satisfied yet. so we went back to my place and slacked. i played DOTA and she played around with my com until about 7 when she went back to bed. i joined her at 9 and was 'pulled' literally outta bed by her at 2. she was really fhungry so we headed out for lunch. but halfway i decided to call stanley to see if he was intereste din a round of mahjong and he was! so guess what? we walked all the way back to my place. joanna gave up food for mahjong. we played until 4 and i wasn't having any winnings or losses until the last round when joanna didn;t wanna game 2 tai. in the end stanley gamed 5 tai zi mo! WTF LA. was damn sian and i lost because of that. nenepok.

anyway mahjong came to an abrupt and stinging end.

i'm not gonna dig up old scores, nor participate in blog-wars. i think its childish and it'll only cut the wound deeper. just think about the times snide comments have been passed, so freely from you like water from a river. think about the times concern was returned with indifference/unappreciation. today was just the limit, you have yours, i have mine too. i didn't expect things to turn out this way, neither did i expect the contempt and acid hatred i felt. but also think about the times in kuching and miri, think about the bus rides back on 76, think about the little green note you wrote me. i still keep it, do you have yours? think about the birthdays spent together. think about zhang shen xiang qi lai and castle green. think about when i was placed in CMM and you were phased out. wern't we there for each other?

i lie and scheme. i'm loud and belligerent. i'm late but sometimes i don't always not give a fuck. i also care and love my friends. i think i appreciate them and treasure and respect them. and sometimes i lie out of habit, but don't no one's perfect and its not something i do willingly, but sometimes it just falls out of my mouth. you too aren't too perfect you know. i wish you'd be more optimistic, less cynical. i want to help you overcome some imperfections, just like how i know i need help polishing my rough edges. but sometimes you make me just want to kill you. the anger's gone though and i don't want it back.

today was just blown out of proportions. we need to evaluate how important this is to us.

2008-08-11T16:38:00.000+08:00

OMGOMGOMG I AM SO BLOODY STUPID.

okay i am in school now and i just realised that i missed my french culture quiz 2! OMFG that's like 20(?) or 10%(?) gone! and i was so confident of getting an A! i hope history doesn't repeat itself, like japanese.

OMG fucking stupid.

2008-08-07T02:41:00.002+08:00

Procrastination is just like masturbation; you always end up fucking yourself.

2008-08-05T09:52:00.002+08:00

okay since i am DAMN early today i decided to come to the lab to blog, in case my loyal fans revolt.

yesterday was a day of clairvoyancy. i was on the way back with joanna. we walked to the bus stop cause if we had waited for 107 or 853 we would have both given birth to twins. so there we were at the bus stop when 133 zoomed past[if you must know, jo cannot take 133]. and that was the only bus for quite sometime. so jo started complaining and she said "aiyah the next bus sure 13 one[cause she can't take 13 as well]. and GUESS WHAT? when we turned back, we saw 13 at the traffic light! i just let out this maniac shriek of laughter and basically the whole stop was looking at us. that was not the end.

we waited for while for the bus some more, vesting our faith in the ever-disappointing SBS service. then i commented that next bus would definitely be 133 but joanna pointed put that it just zoomed past. and i was like "nvm sure come again." KNS i have never been so accurate when i played mahjong or gambled. NABEI. and we both shrieked with laughter again, LMAO. i think my laughter is rubbing off on all my friends.

i should be a psychic, oui? =)

2008-08-03T16:17:00.001+08:00

i am coughing my lungs out and i am extremely displeased. coupled with management of air cargo project due tmr! which i haven't started, and the poster design for Blackbox activities! god just kill me. i'll update, tmr? hopefully.

2008-07-31T01:30:00.002+08:00

i've been thinking alot recently about my upcoming internships. its really a battle between the cabin crew internship, or my dream to be a pilot. so today gary was asking those who were interested to go up for some briefing, and hmmm, that got me thinking very hard. pilot or cabin crew? ARGH i hate such decisions. what's so enticing about the cabin crew internship is definitely the money, and fuck man, we'll get to fly weekly during school term and daily during holidays. HOW FUCKING COOL IS THAT? moreover apart from flying duties, we'll be rostered amongst the many departments, which is great cause i believe we'll absorb much needed, valuable experience. i daresay it'll greatly boost employment chances. who cares if ita a budget airline? they make money too you know.

then again, there's the pilot training/internship. i asked myself why exactly do i wanna be a pilot. its partly because of the passion of flying. but mroe so to the fact that i'll be travelling. that is my main reason for joining this industry/course anyway. i know the internship isn't a link for me to secure a job as a pilot for myself as its just traiing, so there are no tie-ups with any airlines i think. but i figured, there isn't actually any academic requirements to be a pilot, its based more on your aptitude? i think its clear if someone can fly or not, very much like whether someone can drive or not. then again the painful memory of SYFC sprang into mind. i've never had the opportunity to try my hadn at flying, to see if i am cut out for it. i think that's the saddest thing in life; to live a long life, filled with a plethora of 'what ifs'. i tried my best to secure a place in the SYFC, to at least be given an opportunity, but obviously all came to nought. but its ok cause i've moved on. so now i really don't wanna let go of this opportunity, not after i let one slip trough my bare fingers.

i know it'll be crushing if i find i'm not cut out for flying, crushing definitely because its an.. aspiration? i'm not sure how much i'd kill to fly, but i know i will to travel, cause i made my mind up about that already. daryl's not gonna sit on his ass in singapore the rest of his life. NO WAY. so to me, the pilot internship is a door. whether the door opens or shuts, i do not know. but, from what i know now, i don't think it'll be a waste of time, EVEN if i don't make the cut, EVEN if i don't get a job, EVEN if i spent my time doing something that is of no relevance to my future job, EVEN if i spent my 6 mths chasing my dream when i could have bridged more social connections. because some things in life cannot be measured by its superficial value. i may not make it to be a pilot, but it has shut the door firmly in my heart and i know that i will no longer be bitter about it, i will no longer ask the many 'what ifs' i'm asking now.

i am thankful to gary for his wise words. he is a lecturer that is hard to come by. he is a person that is so rare today. because he is someone so candid and straightforward, yet so approachable and wise as well. a short conversation with him made me put my mind down to chasing my dreams. because if i don't chase them now, when am i gonna chase them? at the very least i know i can always apply to be a cabin crew if my piloting stint fails, but we shall wait and see if i even get selected in the first place. if i don't, well, then i'll find another road.

i guess i was confused previously, but i'm more clearheaded now. my heart definitely still aches over the loss of the cabin crew stint, and the goddamned money!! but i just hope that this is the best choice for me, and the doubts in my heart. whether it works out is up to me, and perhaps fate. so we shall see.

2008-07-29T10:48:00.005+08:00

this is pretty much very freaky. i wondetr how they actually fo it cause the qns are all so... random? but they hit you on the head.

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:[this is the freakiest]
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

i think those in bold are the scary ones.

2008-07-15T16:42:00.003+08:00

sooo.... i know my blog is dead for a very long time. so since there's nothing to do in school now, i'm here to blog again. *YONGANN is bothering me like a housefly now. SWAT =D*

ok according to joanna, today is smack-your-friend-on-the-head-day, so remember folks, its 15TH JULY! of course there was nop smacking of heads in school today. i would not have allowed it! but talking about smacking heads, something fucking hialrious happened yesterday. the following needs immense creativity, visualisation and imagionation and a personal experience of hearing my shrieks.

yesterday after lessons we met huijun at the bus stop while waiting for the bus. so i was standing with my back facing the road, huijun on my right and joanna in front of me, facing the road. so there we were chatting when suddenly joanna leapt up *amazing feat* and her hand came crashing down on my head. OBVIOUSLY I LET OUT THIS LONG STRING OF CHOICE SWEAR WORDS AND A LOUD SHRIEK AS WELL. did you expect me to take it silently? lol. anyway you should have seen huijun's reaction, it really was what you'd call a kodak moment. i think she was so shocked, and blur, and didn't know what hell happened or why i was violently manhandled.

you see what happened was joanna and i were playing the 'beatle game'. you know the one where you smack your friend on the head when you see a volkswagon beatle? yea she saw one and she just smacked me like it there was no tomorrow. so huijun if you're reading this you can join in the game next time. i can be violent, don't say i didn't warn you. hahaha. so 23 came while i was still sore and cursing loudly, so i got on the bus, rubbing my head at the same time. the ride was pretty uneventful, considering what was to transpire afterwards.

when joanna and i got off at our stop, we did our normal illegal crossing again which consists of crossing a dual-lane road, 2 tri-lane roads under the flyover, and crossing another dual-lane road to reach the cross junction. so while we were crossing illegally under the flyover joanna let out this "OMG" and at that same moment i saw this beatle out of the corner of my eye. *pls remember that i was still nursing a sore head* yet again my back was facing the road, so, fearing for my safety, i let out this earth-shattering, ear drum splitting, mountain-moving, banshee-like, shrill, bloodcurdling, hysterical sonicboom scream that was probably heard for at least a 100m radius. as joanna put it, words cannot describe the scream, so if you want to go deaf you can approach me, but i doubt i can do it again.

it was so fucking funny cause practically everyone turned around, even those at the extreme ends of the road. and the 2 of us just burst out into this hysterical laughter that continued all the way till we reached the bus stop which was about 300m away i think? we were laughing as we crossed the road, as we waited for the bus, as we got on the bus, we were like 2 lunatics la! and the funniest thing was when we were sitting down, still doubling-over in laughter, we saw this ridiculously dressed woman.

she was wearing this vest-like jacket over her office wear, but it was slightly different. you know how vests are, they either cover the breasts fully, or the rest underneath the bosom right? hers was right smack across her nipples. and what made matter worse was she wasn't exactly voluptuous. so there joanna and i were commenting on it, joanna was even describing it with her hands and we were exclaiming damn loudly. it was then that i turned around to check where the woman was and she was RIGHT BEHIND US! OMG we both burst out into this uncontrollable laughter again, cause we didn't know she was right behind and we were commenting in very audible voices. about her boobs, her dressing, her face.

we were even laughing all the way when we boarded the bus to kovan where i was heading to give tuition. my god it was really really really crazily funny!

oh lord i think i need to go to church this sunday. lmao.

2008-06-25T01:33:00.005+08:00

okay i was fucking pissed today. some part was over the particular paper, and i think i'm not the only one. the other was i don't think i deserve what reaction i got. if anyone thought i was trying to be sarcastic or indifferent, well you thought wrong. there i was trying to help you move on and what response did i get? maybe i said it in a wrong tone or at the wrong time or whatever, but i still dont think i deserve what i got considering the intentions i bore. especially from you. bah whatever, it has happened, i have peeved enough, its over. maybe i dont understand you as well as i thought i did.

anyway if you're still not in the know the shame on you, cause i passed my basic theory test! ok i know its not the greatest of things but its a personal achievement. i've been looking forward to learning how to drive for god damn knows how bloody long, and i've finally taken my first step. hahaha. damn shiok.

so now after that outburst of emotions, its next to doing my very badly screwed assignment. see ya.

2008-06-17T00:14:00.004+08:00

i would like to reiterate why i find my mum UBER cool.

yesterday was father's day, and my family went out to have dinner to celebrate. we brought along that bottle of damn exorbitant ice wine i bought for my dad's birthday. so when we reached the place,(chinese restaurant) we placed our orders and proceeded to attempt to uncork the bottle of wine. my dad started first and you could really see him huffing and puffing, screwing and twisting, trying to get that bloody cork out. then i tried, then my bro tried. we ALL failed. so after that the 3 of us sat there staring at the wine, and i just said "bloody cork". now this perked my mum's interest. she suddenly became very alert(previously fiddling with her hp) and was asking "huh what cork?" then she suddenly proceeded to ask me(outta the blue) if i had seen the edison chen scandal photos. obviously this is damn old news alrd and it has lost much of its allure. however sex is still a topic that NEVER fails to pique the interest of man. so i replied quite hesitently that i had.

"wah! why you see never ask me see also? so how?"

obviously i was quite stunned by this comment, i mean, how often does your mum ask you for your opinion on another man's anatomy? and i just replied "err normal size lo." my mum continued to sigh, apparently feeling it was a waste she didn't get to see it, all the while sitting beside my father. by that time it was getting quite hilarious already. then the bombshell came.

"go home let me see okay? i want to see if cecilia cheung is different or not...."

OMG i just burst out laughing can? it was just fucking hilarious. and my mum listens to flo rida, leona lewis and duffy. how cool is that?

2008-06-09T23:37:00.003+08:00

"Since holidays started, I havent had a proper day to myself, for some 'ME' time. Thats why I am quite reluctant to go to Sentosa tomorrow. But I know its disappointing if u organize a gathering and people dont go. (i am not trying to hint anything ah) Plus I wanna see Isk, YA etc too... So hope it doesnt rain!"

i want to keep this short and simple, and not because i'm trying to save face or anything. i am terribly sorry for what happened today. didn't explain it earlier cause i felt it inappropriate, plus you weren't in the mind to listen. i didn't call because we were too caught up trying to get lekning out of her house. and my phone was on silent mode and at some far corner of the house. by the time i got to my phone to call you i saw 3 msgs and told myself GG. i would be pissed too if it happened to me, but im hoping you'll cool down soon. my sincerest apologies.

2008-05-31T01:51:00.004+08:00

i am going to die because im still up now when i have school at 9 tmr. and its not because i'm studying either. roland garros is just damn exciting. and its only a match between some qualifier called eduardo schwank vs paul-henri mathieu(18). never heard of them before right? but they're playing excellent tennis now. hahahaha i love underdog matches.

2008-05-28T20:59:00.008+08:00

i'm damn glad i didn't speed of light today. initially mrs ooi was supposed to go with paul and the rest to SYFC to help them take pics, but since he hadn't done his presentation and was quite uptight about it(relax la! 10% only) he didn't go and they(lekning) asked me to go in his place. okay i'm interested in photography, but have like zilch experience, still i was quite excited about it. cause.. i never got the chance to be a student there, and i've never even been in the compound before so this was a great opportunity!

so after APEL i went up to the clubroom to get the camera from mrs ooi before rushing down cause they were leaving already. i tell you, GARY'S CAR IS THE SEX MAN. and i think he's a really thoughtful and concerned lecturer, even though i was never a student directly under his tutelage, can you imagine what a nice guy he is now?! so anyway we drove there in gary and weeli's car. cyrano and abbas was there as well but i didn;t see them around after that. i think the houses around the area are REALLY REALLY REALLY nice. its rare to find such country-style homes in singapore now. its like taken out of new zwaland or something; roling plains, greenary, country style lanes.. it was simply magic. i think many of us are too caught up in the flurry and rush of modern urban liveing that sometimes we forget to just stop and stare. i loved the place and if its possible i hope to get one of the houses there. its simply breath-taking. pity i didn't take any photos of the houses or the area for that matter.

since it was a photo-taking session, i'll let the pictures do the talking.

p/s okay i dont know why the pictures cameout in reverse order but just enjoy them. HAHA

group shot before leaving

one day i'll fly

at the simulator

with Mr Hi(?) i think he's a really funny guy

不耻下问！

cockpit shot
i like the lights in this pic
i'm very sure they'll soar one day.
pre-flight briefing
the 4 of them in the hanger
i love this picture ALOT
CPT Lee and FO Tan!
the 4 again

finally a real shot of them doing work!

when i fly, i'm given a key.
a key to the room of my deepest desires.
when i fly, i leave everything behind.
up, up, into the great unknown.
when i fly i'm not afraid.
because when i fly, i'm soaring high above
the breeze fluttering in my hair.
and then i see,
see that i've been touched by angels.
and i'll never want to let go;
because once you've tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards. for there you've been, and there you long to return.

and because i fly, i envy no other.

2008-05-15T21:46:00.002+08:00

when i was taking 107, SBS 2753Z back today, the driver really, really, really pissed me off. before i was to alight, i pressed the bell(as most normal people do), and then when it was reaching my stop i prepared to get off, said bye to joanna, only to find that the driver zoomed past my stop. so of course i frantically pressed the bell again and he looked at me through the mirror, but by then it was too late to stop. so he continued to the next stop at which he stopped. however i found it troublesome as i had to walk back, so i decided to alight together with joanna when she reached her stop. besides i think i was beside myself with fury, and probably wasn't thinking straight. i could feel my heart pounding furiously and my blood boiling, and i think i just let out this really loud "chao cheebye", something i don't swear often.

so when we reached jo's stop, iw ent up to the driver and asked to see his name tag so i could take down his name to lodge a complain. (at this point you may think i'm making a mountain out of a molehill, but i was seriously fucking pissed, and previously he closed the door, squeezing some poor cedar student as she was alighting. what kinda bus driver is that?) so i asked for his name and he asked me the reason for my request. and i said i wanted to lodge a complain because i thought he could do with some improvement. he apologised and asked if i could let the matter rest as he had not continued driving on purpose. however, me being really angry then, flatly denied. so i asked for his name again and he reluctantly put his arm down so that i could have a look. i alighted after taking his name down.

on the way back, i was thinking of the bus driver, and i decided not to lodge a complain anymore. the reason being, i felt that he really had not done it on purpose, and he had apologised for his behaviour; something that had surprised me greatly. i had expected him to argue back(given my many bad past experiences with bus drivers) when i went up to ask for his name, however he did not and even apologised. and i think i realised then that it was a genuine mistake and he was genuinely sorry for it. i think everyone deserves second chances cause everyone makes mistakes. besides it wasn't a big issue and i would have felt guilty if he had lost his job over such a small incident. i also think i let my anger get the better of me, making me so bitter and vengeful at that time. so i'm glad that i calmed down on hindsight and thought things through properly instead of acting on impulse.

2008-05-14T21:13:00.002+08:00

sucks. i didn't get in. they only took in 6?? and for once i thought i stood a chance. i know most people will say its okay cause its just bowling. but its not when you want it badly. anyhow, i feel i bowled well that day, there'll be other opportunities.

makes me all the more hungrier for my PPL/ATPL..

2008-05-12T23:27:00.002+08:00

okay been a long time since i last blogged. sooooooooo many things have happened so far. i went for bowling trials on sat. first time i bowled seriously with that competitive mindset in about 2 yrs? i can't really rmb. well first game sucked. 99. then i got 176 112 and 170 which means my avg is 140, placing me in 8th place. which for me i think is pretty cool, considering i haven't bowled for ages really! asked around and i think they're taking in the top 10. so i'm really praying i get in! i don't know. for me so far, bowling's like the only sport which can get me real hyped up. hearing the pins crashing, the whir of the pinsetter, the clanging of the ball return... it makes me damn excited can! i definitely like other sports la, soccer, squash, tennis etc. but bowling's still my love. and i think the nostalgic thing is after 2 years, i could just lear leslie's voice ringing in my head.(leslie's my ex-couch btw) i heard his voice telling me about bowling being 70% mental, 30% skill. and its true, bowling is a mental sport. no matter how well you bowl, its not gonna change your opponent's score. it isn't like soccer or tennis or what now. so the only thing you can do is to devastate him mentally. (god i sound sadistic) but its true! when i was bowling, i couldn't find my line cause the lane was bloody oily and my ball only skidded all the way. so i was getting really frustrated but i just told myself to calm down and bowl. and somehow i found the line, and just started having consistent strikes/spares. it felt really good. bowling should never be stressful. it helped too that the people i was bowling with were really friendly and nice. the tp bowlers were like "wah are you guys a team alrd?" i just found it really cute... haha. so i hope that everyone on lane 19/20 gets in okay!

okay so ytd was probably my craziest night ever. that stupid lekning la. dear ms lek ning proposed a drinking session at my place. something which has been delayed for god knows how long. so ytd we finally got down to doing it. told lek ning the directions to my place(she stil got lost anyway) HAHA. so i decided to go meet her and found out she had alighted one stop too many. so we walked the one stop back to take a bus to joanna's house. and this is where the madness started. when we alighted, i was happily chatting with lekning. and we were crossing the road to jo's house. so there we were happily yakking away until i turned my head and realised(to my ultimate horrer) a speeding motorcycle heading straight at us. it was like less than 100m from us la. so i just grabbed lekning and ran. all the time the both of us were screaming for our lives. looking back its quite amusing. oh the foolish trappings of youth.

then we arrived at jo's house. watched the rest of the match. saw giggs fabulous goal and caught the penalty i missed while i was shitting. i wouldn't have wanted to be i ronaldo's shoes when he was taking the penalty, esp after he missed the one against barcelona. haha. so anyway the match ended and man u won. which was quite expected. so the three of us lazed around for awhile before taking a cab to my place which cost like 5 plus? stupid taxi drivers. then we went up to my place to collect the tidbits and drinks and headed to my pool to chill.

there, your truly came up with a game. we would fill up 1 of 3 cups with chivas while the other 2 had just zapple. and the suay person who chose the chivas would have to "tar" or finish the drink. basically a colloquial form of bottom's up. so i wa sthe first unlucky person so i finished the drink. then lekning decided to fill 2 of the 3 cups. this time it was me and lekning. so we bothed finished the drink. then it was jo and lekning. by then we were a little tipsy already. and kinda bored cause it was just drinking. so i went to take poker cards from my place. when i returned we decided to play indian poker. we used tai-dee rules and lekning drew the largest dee. so jo and i were like persuading her to change which she finally did. and guess what? she drew the dee of clubs! omg that was bloody lucky la. so i ended up being the one to drink. then came second round, and lekning drew the largest dee again!! ZOMG. so jo and i just said we're playing poker rules where ace is the biggest. HAHAHAHHAHA.. can't really rmb in detail what happened after that, though i rmb trying to drag/pull/push joanna into the pool. we failed miserably, even under the combined efforts of lekning and i. don't underestimate the heavyweight okay.

after the drinking we decided to pack up cause i think we al couldnt take it anymore. went back home where the 3 of us just topple donto the bed and slept. at some point in time my bro woke me up saying jo was puking. so i went to check on her. was feeling really bad cause my head was throbbing like crazy. it turned out she had done puking alrd. so the three of us just sat outside my toilet, too stoned to move. lekning was trying to forcefeed me hot water but i just didnt want to drink cause i knew once i opend my mouth i would puke all over. so i just kept shaking my head and turning away. until i couldnt hold it in anymore. so i just covered my mouth, and the 2 girls just siam-ed immediately and i chiong-ed to the toilet and puked into the toiletbowl. i'll never forget what i saw in the toiletbowl. after i was done i felt much much better. so we all went to sleep. i can;t rmb what happened after that. only i woke up once in the middle to puke and once again in the morning. then joanna woke us all up and we washed up and bathed before heading to school. felt much better compared to the previous night. and i'll never do binge drinking again. i know i can't drink for nuts anyway.

so today i was in thiam huat's tut. and i think it was his best tut ever. the com broke down and so he couldnt flash his "model" answers on the screen. it was a blessing in disguise really, cause i felt that i really absorbed his words. i mean, if there were answers, we would just be copying blindly. for once in a long long time i listened and digested what he was saying. and i still rmb it now. i really want a more challenging curriculum but i know we will all die if the lecturers left us to our own ways. its sad cause i dont want to graduate, never unleashing my full potential. i dont want to be a mindless machine who cannot think on his feet, who cannot adapt to circumstances. yet i dont want my GPA to fall, and i know it will if the lecturers stop spoonfeeding us abruptly. i guess what can be done now is to just gradually remove the guuiding hand. maybe we should reanact thiam huat's tut. hahaha..

anyway i'm going to organise my notes and file them properly. haven't done a thing since school started. i'm so gonna be screwed if this continues. i think its high time i start on the promise i made to myself. i haven't forgotten it. and its high time i show what i'm capable of.

一鸣惊人，一飞冲天。

2008-05-10T00:20:00.001+08:00

GOOD LUCK TO MEEE!!
i hope i can bowl. my finger has turned bluish/purple...

Gimli Glider

2008-05-07T22:23:00.003+08:00

wow i just finished watching the first episode of the new season of Aircrash Investigation and this is still one of my favourit-est documentaries to catch!

it was about the Aic Canada flight 143 which was a B767-200 i think. apparently the aircraft ran outta fuel halfway through its flight from montreal to edmunton,alberta. at first it was just the loss of one engine due to the lack of fuel, but no worry cause there was still ETOPS(see, what i learn in school is coming in handy) then the fuel pressure gauge started flashing again and the plane lost the power in the other engine, making it practically speaking, a glider. seriously if i were the pilot in that situation i would totally freak out la. with the lost of power, not only did the plane lose thrust, it also lost power for some of its major components essential in flying, like its radar signal. commercial plane shave this transponder(?) that emits frequencies, helping ATC to pinpoint their location, with the loss of power, these components were unable to work and AC143 practcally disappeared off the screens of winnipig ATC. so now not only was the captain unable to get his bearings and altitude, ATC couldn't see them as well. in the end ATC had to bring out the really really old school radar which was definitely not as sophisticated as the one they were using. was it LORADS II? i don't know. anyway what the basic radar did was just give the location of the plane. ATc had to plot and calcuate the planes' bearings and altitude all manually. and this is where i think is the really cool part.

what i liked most about this episode is that both the pilot and ATC were still able to function, or at least get the basic needed information even without the necessary instruments. that to me is the true test of skill and aptitude. i rmb tommy told us that LORADS II and LORADS III have all the information on the radar screen already;bearing, altitude, speed, permission to ascend/descend. so basically it makes the job of ATC much easier in the aspect that they need not manually calculate. of course since technology advances, therein lies the catch; they've gotta handle more traffic. so can you imagine having to plot manually the bearings, altitude and speed of a gliding aircraft? imagine the immense pressure, and you're stil not allowed to screw up. pure madness.

things weren't easy for the pilot as well. imagine gliding and controlling a 95 ton jet with no power. yeah there's that ram air turbine, but it still takes an immense amount of skill and expertise. i went to google it after watching and read up more about the technique the captain used to land the plane. its called a sideslip and basically the pilot puts the ailerons and rudder in opposite directions, resulting in the plane changing orientation but still staying parallel to its original flight plan. this is how planes are landed in cross winds. pretty cool huh?

the episode was named miracle flight and i think it truly was a miracle. after all the hardwork and skillful flying the captain put in, he finaly aligned his plane with the runway which was at gimli, a previous military airbase, only to find out that the runway had been turned into a DRAGRACE TRACK. omfg la. the lucky thing was that racing had just finished for the day, even though there were still tons of people milling around, at least there were no cars on the track, save for 2 boys who decided to peddle the length of the runway until they turned around to see this massive airliner coming straight for them. if i were those boys i would have pissed/shit in my pants till the world ended. but as they say, it IS a miracle flight. and it so happened that the nose gear which was unable to deploy properly helped slow the plane down much faster by dragging along he ground, thus saving the lives of the 2 boys and preventing a catastrophe. his reminds me of the video paul showed us today, about not giving up, and what brick walls are built for. =)

so at the end of the day, the whole incident boiled down to... human error. surprise surprise. if there is one statement i can really agree with, it is that aircraft accidents are 99% human error and 1% equipment failure. it is alwasy man who screws up. the fuel gauge of the 767 was spoilt, but during refuelling, ground crew would still check adn measure how much fuel was being pumped in. the thing is fuel is in vol, and pilots calculate based on weight of the aircraft. so there needs to be this matric calculation converting vol to kilos. the mechanics converted to pounds instead. so instead of leaving with 23ooo kilos, the plane left wth 23ooolbs.

anyway if you wanna know more about the gimli glider, you can read it here. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gimli_glider

SOCCER TMR! oh man i can't wait. haha. i don't mind having so little people to play with, its still fun.

oh and i want to thank paul.. for showing that clip today. i guess maybe now i'm still far from reaching randy's state of self-reflection and inner-calm, but i'm sure that what i've heard today will come in handy one day on future.. so for that thank you in advance.

time for DOTA. byebye!

2008-04-29T23:26:00.005+08:00

ok i just wanted to blog while i was eating tauhway and guess what? i was just getting a nice big spoonful into my mouth when for whatever reason i suddenly choked/snorted violently. and ALL the tauhway landed on my laptop kepboard!!!!!!! WTFOMGZZZ. and if you didn't know, i like my tauhway with EXTRA SUGAR syrup so it really didn't help. yea i know i'm gonna die of diabetes but heck it. [the foolish trappings of youth] now i'm in a damn bad mood. i need a new brain that's not so klutz-y.

anyway my purpose of blogging is about the AMS Freshman Camp! okay seriously i think many things could have been improved; some of them coming from yours truly. but overall i think its true that we've met our goal; which was to synchronise the freshies[god i feel old. just last year i was a freshie] and allow them to get to know each other and the seniors[see?] better. so even though there were lots of glitches and unhappiness from some people, i still think its a job well done!

i especially liked the night walk. HAHA. there's something about seeing macho men squeal and shriek damn shrilly. ok i'm sadistic. but i really enjoyed the nightwalk. i just hoped and wished that some other people could have enjoyed it as well. and i really didn't know it was the end already so, sorry i spoiled it somehow.

anyway one of the things i've learnt from this camp is that we should always show appreciation towards other people. just because you don't see people in action doesn't mean they're slacking or doing nothing. well, just food for thought. you can ponder over it while looking at this.

p.s. i just found out i got flecks of tauhway on my specs. EEW.
p.p.s. okay i need to go find out who my 祖先 is and wth is 孔子's 六艺. tata!

2008-04-24T23:48:00.003+08:00

today is a weird weird weird night. firstly i heard from hao that joanna ALMOST got knocked down by a cab on the way home. then after the whole dry run thing was over for the AMS camp[ended around 10 plus] i went home. waited at the TP busstop for 23 for like ages. when it finally came, met...

weird #1.

i went up to the second deck cause the first had quite alot of people. and when i got up i went to the back where i saw this woman masturbating. i was like fucking shocked la. cause firstly you don't go around taking buses, expecting to chance upon someone masturbating on a public bus. she was using the handle of the umbrella she had, and she didnt exactly stop when i saw. so i just felt weird and turned around to sit down. she was making moaning noise throughout the trip!!! when i got off at my stop, which is at boon keng, i saw her bouncing in her seat as i descended the steps. just plain weird la. she needs a more active sexlife.

weird #2.

when i alighted at the stop from 23, i waited for my connecting bus back. then this middle aged woman alighted from TIBS svc 62. she looked really normal. like your everyday, common, HDB aunty; slightly plump and carrying loads and loads of stuff. she placed her stuff down on the seat of the bus stop and started waiting around. so i didn't pay her much attention until she started rummaging in her bag really noisily. so i started to stare at her as she proceeded to tear the wrapper off HALL sweets and scattering it around the busstop flambouyantly. she did this all the time while belting out "dei loi fa" at the top of her voice. and alot of other old cantonese songs la. everyone at the busstop was just plain flabbergasted.

weird #3

i boarded 107M from the busstop where i left weird #2. and i was standing around the rear door area when i noticed weird #3. he was this middle aged chinese man who was sitting down with a copy of the chinese tabloids clamped between his right armpit. so i was staring at him beacause he was digging his nose very very vigorously. but this was not all. after digging for his GOLD vigourously, he proceeded to examine his loot before rubbing and smearing it on the bridge of his nose, between his eyes. he did this many many times. like 5? then after he was done smearing it on his nose he smeared it on the seats.

and whoever said that singapore was a boring place to live?

2008-03-31T20:46:00.002+08:00

i haven't blogged for a long long time. so today's post is gonna be a long one, and probably one of my most brutally honest posts.

last night i went for dinner with my family and after dinner i was walking to the car with my mum while my dad went to get something first. so we got in and we were just waiting around until my dad finally came. when he got into the car, he sort of fumbled around abit, THEN he popped a qns that totally shocked me.

DAD: "daryl ah, i saw a book on your table. its a biography about gay and lesbian people is it? why are you reading that book?"
ME: *flabbergasted*
DAD: "its okay with me. i just wanna know why you reading that book. is it just for general reading or do you have a problem?

so since my dad asked, i, like 4 years ago when my mum asked, started to explain to him what was happening. i told him about how i felt about my sexuality, my earliest memories about this difference in me i knew and felt since.... eons ago. i recounted the earlier cofusion, the bewilderment and finally the slow journey of self-discovery i have made for the past 10 yrs or so of my life. and contrary to what my initial fear was, which was that my dad would be so shell-shocked he wouldn't know how to handle it and he'd disown me or something, my dad was pretty cool about. damn cool if i had to emphasize. considering he had no inkling whatsoever throughout my 18 years with him. (this i found out only later when i asked him.) come to think of it, i think my dad handled the situation much better than my mum, whom i remember was quite hysterical, but then again when she found out i was 14 so i beieve she had quite the reason to be so.

what i found refreshing about the conversation was that i have always wanted to tell my parents, or in this case my dad about my sexuality. i felt it was a part of me that him as a parent would want to know, but then again, fear was my stumbling block. i feared the rejection, i feared the anger. and throughout these years, one could very well say that i've hidden from him. my mum knows, my brother knows. i think my aunt knows but we never talked about it seriously. in the family he was the only one who didn't know. so definitely i was glad that i had gotton this issue, i won't say burden, off my chest. but after i told him, it dawned on me that now i was afraid of how he would feel when he realised that he was the only one in the dark. cheated? left out? neglected? once again my father proved me wrong. i think he understood what i was trying to say when i explained to him, and i'm glad he wasn't bitter or anything. if you know me well, you'd probably know i dont share a very close relationship with my dad. we get along okay, i know he loves me, but we're just not close. somehow i felt last night i truly connected with him for the first time, and it was a nice feeling. my parents may not be uber rich, they may not give me a big, luxurious house, buy flashy cars for me (im gonna be driving very soon, they may not be able to provide for all my material needs, but i know they try and i know they love me and i know i am a very, very blessed boy for that.

the only thing that was bugging me after our talk, besides my bursting bladder as we had talked for more than 2 hours, was the fact that like my mum, my dad was hanging onto this notion that homosexuality was a mental or psychological disorder. i would perfectly understand if they feel its wrong EVEN though the greeks embraced homosexuality, it was and still is seen as going against the law of nature and procreation. i could go into all the religious issues now, but it isn't really the point. to me, homosexuality is something that is very common, and old; its been around since time immemorial. i wont't say its right, but neither would i say its wrong. i guess its just a kind of lifestyle that people accept, people like me, and its really up to the individual to judge, or not to. perhaps the older generation would be up in arms saying it should not be condoned, its wrong. but i guess us; the younger generation is not that concerned about such issues, probably cause of the prevalence of sex and sexuality around us, or because times have changed and we have changed along with it.

so i went home brooding about it and i casually mentioned to my brother that dad asked me if i was gay and i told him yes. my bro was just about to go for a smoke so i joined him just to chat. he asked me about what my parents and i talked about so i told him, how they felt it was psychological, how counselling would help me. if i ever go for counselling, it would only be to help my parents to move along and to accept this easier for i know deep in my heart that this is an issue that no doctor or counselor will every be able to help me with. its a personal demon and a personal issue, and frankly, i'm fine with the coping part, its the people around me that need help. and so we were at the topic and my brother told me again he doesn't really care whether his brother's gay or not. he told me to him, homosexuality is a choice and i agree and this is why:

i've had homosexual inclinations since a very very young age. and through my talk with my brother last ight, i realised i've started to understand alot of issues deeper than ever before. most studies agree that a majority of homosexuals are the way they are due to a traumatic incident/incidents that happened when they were young. i'm not sure if this is true for others cause i don't go around asking nor sharing such stuff, but i know this is true for me. let's call this incident 'x'. i knew that i had inclinations since a kid, but i suspected somehow that x was the catalyst that sped everything up. i remember vividly when i was a very young child, my family went for a trip to malacca where we went to this water resort theme park called A Farmosa or something. and there in the changing room as a child, i remember being very curious about the other males around me. are they the same as me? i think such thoughts are only human. human beings are social creatures and we find comfort in numbers. besides, the phrase wasn't coined for nothing. my brother asked me if my curiosity was because it was plainly that or because it was attraction and frankly speaking, i don't know and can't remember. it happened so long ago that its difficult to recall the very emotions i felt. i'd always thought that was my earliest memory of homosexual tendencies but then my brothre popped a question. "if the situation changed and it was girls all around you, do you think your reaction would be the same?" once again i realy am unsure, but it got me thinking that maybe, just maybe my curiosity was mistaken for attraction, but then again i'm not sure.

what i do know is that, curiosity or attraction, that incident is imprinted vividly in my mind, and as scientists have proven, implanted memories are as powerful, persuasive and realistic as bona fide ones. my point being, even though my memory of my emotions at that time is hazy, it doesn't matter cause its still something i recall vividly and something that is impactful on me. so real or implanted it is equally important in my situation. the other thing i alao know is that x is the catalyst for my sexuality. given societal pressure, i believe that it is plausible that even though i grew up with gay tendencies, society would pressure me to conform into what was 'socially accepted'; a straight man. however, x allowed me to make a choice, even if it wasn't one i made conciously due to my age and maturity which was zilch at that age. it all boils down to homosexuality being a choice. previously i believed that the choice for me was that even though i couldn't choose how i was born, i could choose how i wanted to live. i do not have the choice to be born without gay tendencies but i made the choice not to do anything about it later on in life.

similarly, at that young age after x happened, my young mind assumed i was gay and i grew up feeling this way, when it could have been a totally different story altogether. by this point in time, i was feeling so bewildered by all the ideas that were springing up in my head as i talked with my bro. then it suddenly dawned on me, so what if i was supposedly born straight? it really doesn't matter anymore as such a long period of time had passed as i grew up with the seed planted in me that i was gay. at the youg age of 8, i subconciously, by fault or through no fault of mine depending on how you view it, made the decision that i was gay and thus i grew up thinking this way. i always had a choice to swing either side even after x. it was just my mentality at the time that was the deciding factor and its just too bad that i swinged gay. i've come thus far with self-acceptance and self-realisation. i am happy the way i am, even if it means i'm going against society. so did i really want to find out if i was born gay or straight? if i was born straight and i am gay now, did i want to go through all that shit and uncertainty again? did i want to go through the resentment that i'm gay because of the pen of destiny when i could jolly well have been straight? i didn't want to go through all that again. i didn't want to turn 'straight' and be unhappy or resentful. how many people can truly say that they're happy and satisfied with the way their lives are now? since im gay now, i'd rather stay gay and happy. (no pun intended) through the talk with my brother, i feel my eyes have opened up to so much more. when you make a choice, the window of opportunity closes, so you just stick with it. i can say that its a pity i made the wrong decision with the wrong frame of mind at the wrong time which resulted in who i am now. but since i am happy with the way i am now, i could have damn well made the right decision! i didn't want to open the huge can of worms, not when i realised the impact it would have had on me.

sexuality is never rigidly defined. i think sexuality is based on two factors; sexual attraction and emotional attraction. emotionally i can frankly say im bisexual. sexually however i know i am gay. then again humans are emotional creatures and it has always bee difficult to tell the difference between feelings of attraction compared to the many other feelings we may have for individuals. what then is my sexuality? do i date a girl and then not have sex with her? i think that would be selfish, seriously. a relationship is very much emotional as it is sexual, let's not act ignorant about it. for me i guess what decides my sexuality is which gender fulfills both criteria,it may be only one gender, it may be both. who knows? what's important is that i have learnt to accept myself for what i am, be it innate or created out of choice. the present is more important than the past or what/who i may have been. it took me 18 yrs till last night to realise that there are too many 'what ifs' and 'if onlys' in life without one needing to add more to the list. so instead of living life in regret, embrace the present for it is today that is the most important.

people say answers sometimes lead to more questions. but this time i feel answers have helped me find closure that i've not had before. i no longer blame x, i no longer blame myself, not that i did in the near past. i know myself better as a person, i have answers to some 'whys' i previously did not understand. i have faced my demons. i have fought. i have won. this is me at my barest, my most naked. and once in a while it feels good to shed all inhibitions, to be like a child once more. i don't know what lies in future, but i live for now. and i know i will sleep soundly tonight.

2008-03-12T23:25:00.003+08:00

happy 18th birthday to ME!
many thanks to everyone who wished me. thanks to my group of friends for always being there for me, accepting my flaws and strengths. but its mostly strengths. hawhaw. so, cheers to a great year ahead! and many more to come, cause i'll be enjoying every single birthday of mine till i draw my last breath.

pictures coming soon! i'm gonna enjoy myself first. ciao!

the book's better than any Macbook. =)

2008-02-22T23:19:00.006+08:00

SCREWED is such an inadequate understatement in describing today's maths paper. all i can say is i'm in deep, deep faeces. and from what i can foresee, its only 4 As/Zs which can save me.

2008-02-21T20:32:00.003+08:00

CONGRATULATIONS SINGAPORE!

on winning the bid for the Youth Olympic Games and a job well done! i'm darn proud of you.

2008-02-21T16:38:00.004+08:00

Airshow has been a blast so far. its such an eye opener really, being the youngest exhibitors is definitely a feather to display in ones' cap. and also the prestige as well. for me, the added bonus is being able to be up close and personal with the industry people. my future bosses, or subordinates, i'd prefer. LAWL. and when im talking industry people its like ICAO delegates, presidents, company CEOs, experts in this field. hell we took a picture with the ICAO president, south african delegate and singapore delegate. Weibin, GIVE ME THE DAMN PHOTO! being able to receive their views and comments and suggestions is probably the best learning experience yet.

now that trade days are coming to a close, i guess the attention is now shifted to my work, which i have neglected badly. its in such a derelict condition, i dont want to boast about exhibiting at the Airshow 2008 but failing my exams. so its ALL THE WAY NOW. i cant wait for the exams to be over.

a few pictures. i'll upload the rest after exams.

2008-02-12T02:05:00.000+08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO ALL! hong hei fat choi! huat ah! ok that being said, this year's chinese new year was alright.as with past new years, there was lots of gambling, gorging and money handling involved. this year seemed better though cause i guess my family really got into the festive mood. we cleaned the house together, put up the decorations and packed all the goodies and ba kwa. and that's a first cause my family is always busy and its always my poor parents who do all the work, so it was a ncie change doing it as a family. and i got new curtains! with matching colours as well.

so my harvest for the year of the rat stands at 100 dollars now. that includes mahjong, ban luck, tai tee, ah chap, poker, da xiao, and many other old gambling games that the older generation taught us. i'm gonna cut down on mahjong this year though. was reading that horses fan tai sui or something. if you dont know you can ask your mum. and i think my luck isnt that good, so-so only. but if you jio me, I WONT TURN YOU DOWN.

the result of gorging bottles after bottles of pineapple tarts and eating slices and slices of ba kwa has resulted in a horrendously humungous ulcer that im determined to whine and complain about until it goes away. ITS FUCKING BIG AND PAINFUL LA. and it makes me talk funny. i attempted to take a picture of the carnage in my mouth but failed to capture it properly. so i abandoned it. but if you wanna see just come up to me. i'd gladly share my pain with you.

school after 5 day of holiday mood is the shit man. doesnt help that i think maths is quite screwed, considering i only know how to do the differentiation part while im quite clueless regarding integration. and and and, all the assignments are due this fri! OMFG kill me pls. we haven't even started with airline tycoon. as usual its gonna be a last minute effort again. i can't wait for the holidays to start! then i'll have more time to relax and enjoy my life. but then again i have 10k to save by march next year if not its byebye to my europe backpacking trip. siiigh. anyone knows of tuition agencies who are hiring? help is very much needed!

apart from that, im going back to playing airline tycoon. TBP tomorrow at 10! and im doing it alone. how enticing. but i dont blame you lek ning. you gotta fly, and i know you'll fly well. both you and joanna. GOOD LUCK!

2008-01-22T01:21:00.000+08:00

the 7 of us in 2006

the 7 of us in 2008

we may have changed physically, but our bond remains unchanged. i love all of you for everything that you're brought into my life, and everything you've made me realise and cherish. thank you.

2008-01-18T00:18:00.000+08:00

oh man. this is turning out to be an even more tiring week than the last. and i thought things would be getting better since i dont have THAT many assignments. but NO, i forgot about SSC, airport project (thankfully extended to monday), japanese roleplay script/translation, PSPS (which thankfully i've done just today), TBP assignment and lab 4, airport security (going through on monday). WTF. when can i finally get my rest and make up for my severe sleep deficit? the weird thing is everyday in sch i'm so tired, so lethargic, but when i get home and want to sleep, i cant.

besides school, there's still other stuff to handle. bombshell after bombshell. sometimes i realise its so difficult to keep your head up and strong. especially when things just seem to know how to get you down. i would be lying if i say i've never felt like giving up. but somehow i just feel i shouldnt give up now. not yet. i guess i feel it still deserves more, so im gonna give it my all.

anyway got back today and i wanted to do the airport project, or at least finish a little more of it. but i ended up being so tired i went to sleep and woke up for dinner just when deal or no deal started. it isnt as exciting as the previous episode. and the girl was really really unlucky, opening all three big prizes in the first 6 cases. lol. so anyway after dinner i went to edit my comments to suit the one's meng yu sent me. but didnt make much progress and now im realy tired again. plus tomorrow i've gotta wake up like arnd 645 for my dental appointment. so i guess tonight i'm gonna have a little bit more sleep. can't carry on like this la, i'll burn out. and on a sidenote i better try to make it for maths tmr. i just hope it wont take too long and be too painful. my maths is really behind and i need to catch up.
anyway im gonna turn in now. my eyes are half open and im so banged out. frankly speaking i think this post is really random but what the hell la, i need sleep. so good night world!

sometimes i feel so detached and involved all at the same time.

2008-01-15T23:03:00.000+08:00

ok the past week has just been CRAZY! with a big fat capital C. let's see, (no pun intended) we had open house for our course, which included lots of last minute planning and work. but really, its all thanks to the group effort that we got things going. none of the could have happened if not for the cooperation. so im really quite satisfied with the open house. got to speak to quite a fair bit of students. i feel, since it wasnt exactly easy for me to get into this course, but i still did, i felt that i should do my par to promote it and hopefully, enable people to fulfill their dreams the way i was able to fulfill mine. so i guess to me, open house was my way of giving back to the course. you may find it weird since technically the course hasnt helped me in anyway directly, but indirectly it has helped me understand my passion better and it has allowed me to fulfill the dream and be one step closer to my ambition. so in a way i feel grateful and somewhat indebted to AMS. so there you are. i hope response for JAE is good and i'm actually looking forward to the COP dropping. it sounds elitist, but really the only reason i want the COP to drop is cause i want the course to have some autonomy, or rather paul to have some autonomy over how this course is run. i think he's done a great job, and will continue to do so. anyway im fucking excited about the future of AMS la! i can't wait to take my ATC module, cant wait to get into embry riddle, cant wait to enter the aviation industry. but of course, my 4.0 comes first before anything.

so anyway apart from TP openhouse, i had my two assignments which i dragged and procratinated until the very last minute. so i really can't blame anyone else except me. i mea i had the whole holiday to do it. but i guess that's just the way i am. not a very healthy habit but if i get things done, i guess i see no real reason to change now. lawl. and finally when i thought i could get some rest time, or start sleeping early, WHAM, SSC rears its ugly head. unfortunately we all forgot about SSC, whoch is some space challenge thing. its a competition. and we have a 25% chance of winning cause only 4 teams are left. how sad isnt it? no wonder they have to raise awareness about space in singapore. cause seriously if you asked me about going into space tourism or having a space port, i'd probably think you've gone bonkers! we all know technology's gonna advance, we all know times are gonna change, but the thing is i cant imagine howd it change. i know one day i wouldnt be able to laugh as loud, run as fast, walka s stable as now. but i still cant envision my future in those shoes. so i guess for now i'd think you're mad, talking about space tourism and stuff.

apart from schoolwork and my nonsense,today is a very special day. if you didnt know its our first month anniversary today. it may be short, but we sure have gone through a hell lot of shit and stuff, both happy and pulls-hair-out-frustrating. well, on paper its one month, but we all know its much longer than that. knowing you ryan is probably one of the best things that happened to me. we share a bond that's unique, and something unforgettable i'll never forget. even if we go our separate ways. i guess you've left your mark somehow, through our countless messages and call and msn conversations. well, all i wanna say is thank you very much. for everything you've done. things are tough now, but i never expected it to be easy. the harder the battle, the sweeter the victory. remember that alright babe? and stay strong cause i'm always with you, in spirit or flesh. things still have a long way to go, no matter what, we've still only known each other for only about a year. but in your beautiful words, "The road is long and winding, and I hope I'll be the one that can walk through it together with you. I'm looking forward to 15th December 2008, and 2009, and 2010, till forever."

i love you babe, more than anything in this world. happy first month. =)

2008-01-03T15:46:00.000+08:00

today started out on a bad note. some how everything seems stacked against me. i just hope this week passes fast, and we can go through unscathed.

Sorry seems to be the hardest word. if this helps, sorry to all those i've let down.

2008-01-01T23:38:00.000+08:00

ok first things first.. HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEAR 2008!!! rejoice cause its a new yr, new beginning, new hopes!

ok i spent my new yr sick in bed. sucks la. went to sleep on new yr's eve having that gonna-fall-sick-feeling. and guess what? i was running a real bad sore throat and fucking high fever in the morning. so i got my ass outta bed and went to take some medicine then went back to bed. then ryan woke me arnd 1 saying he was arnd my area and was gonna visit me. i nearly jumped outta bed la. so i went to brush teeth and went back to bed waiting for him. when he came i was feeling so bad we didnt do anything at all and i just slept. im so sorry babe! i was feeling quite sick. haha. and i dont wanna kiss you is for your own good ok? =) i dont want you to fall ill or something.

so anyway we lazed arnd, mainly it was me sleeping and him staring at me. than charlene and my bro woke up. did the formalities then ryan had to leave. so i walked him all the way to the train station and back. when i got back i went to bath and eat my chicken rice before leaving for my aunt's birthday dinner. btw HAPPY BIRTHDAY KUKU! play more mahjong cause its good for you. =)

i ate ice cream, even though i had a bad sore throat and im regretting it now. then we went for dinner and i didnt eat much too cause i wasnt feeling hungry. after that i came home and blogged cause ryan wants to read it! so abbe, this is for you ok? sleep tight and have a good day at sch tmr.

once again, a happy new year to all you guys out there. best of luck in this new year. =)

2007-12-19T21:44:00.000+08:00

oh man. so im like finally in bangkok. totally missed out on one WHOLE day of shopping cause the flight was delayed from 1225 to 1325 till 1635 till 2000 till 2140 till 2200. we flew off at 10pm at night when my original flight was at 1225 in the afternoon. cool huh? so i reached the hotel which looked really rundown on the outside. but its HUUUUUUGE inside la. its like a freaking suite can? with a kitchen, toilet and dining area. OMFG LA. i didnt know my parents booked some super huge room. even though im sharing it with my cousin, its still very big. and there is like a home theatre kinda thing for watching dvds. which i can positively say i've maximised its usage. this is a super uber cool hotel! i'll highly reccommend everyone to come here to stay when they visit bangcock.

anyway went shopping today. bangkok has changed alot since the last time i've been here which has been at least a year or two? new shopping centres, better markets, still the same great food, and still the same good prices! ok even though i didnt buy much today, just a pair of burms and 3 shirts which are freaking nice. but its ok! i still have tmr and the day after and the next 2 days after as well. the only gripe is the weather is super super hot la. and thank god there's internet in the hotel room which is free as well.

the new airport is pretty impressive, but it does have its shortcomings which i have experienced personally. took quite a few pictures but i forgot to bring the usb cable, so i'll have to wait till i get back home. all i can say is, i still like changi better. =) anyway i'm off to do some night shopping a some new night market i read abt online. its still early so see ya guys!

p.s. blogger here is in thai.=/

2007-12-18T12:47:00.001+08:00

OK. now its delayed till 1640. from 1225. what a great start la. one less day of shopping. LOL. anyways im going for lunch now. ciaos.

2007-12-18T12:21:00.001+08:00

flight is delayed by ONE HOUR. horror of horrors man...

2007-12-18T00:33:00.000+08:00

*taps mike* ehem hello world! im back from non-existance. ok for those who arent in the know,(no i havent turned straight), term tests are OVER! but not much cause for celebration, probbaly cause i've been in the celebratory(?) mood all along anyway and over or not it isnt really a big difference to me.

so anyway, lined up during this short break are ASSIGNMENTS, PROJECTS, ASSIGNMENTS, PROJECTS, ASSIGNMENTS, PROJECTS...... kinda sucks la. and the very-much-behind-time-space-challenge. hmm, i wonder how i can actually juggle all that while trying to enjoy my break. finally i dont have to wake up on a december morning when everyone is still snoozing and rush off to school. well i guess the highlight of this termbreak really is MY BANGKOK TRIP. which is for 6days? or a week, i cant really rmb. what i do know is that i'll be spending a beautiful week in beautiful thailand doing damn beautiful shopping. wahaha, can you sense my excitement? plus i've got my laptop for entertainment at night, not porn la! hk shows, movies, music, msn, etc. and i've got mahjong as well. oh man.... =D

well, the reason im bring my laptop overseas is actually to do the assignments and projects, but im not sure how much of it will be completed. like serious. i'll be in bangkok, mengyu in the states and jo in hk. talk abt major time differences. plus, who really looks forward to doing work when they're on holiday? but all the same, i'll try to squeeze some time in to at least start researching, or doing the project. datelines have suddenly become my bosom buddies.

and as usual, im flying off tmr, gotta be at the airport by 10nish? and surprise surprise, i havent started packing. thats so daryl seriously. havent packed my notes to bring, my toiletries, my whatever and everything la. i'm really looking forward to the trip though cause i'll be visiting the new suvarnabhumi(?) airport. phonetically its suwarnapoom. it'll be like an eye opening experience to walk among the halls and corridors of this big huge terminal building. to be able to see what i've so far, only seen on my notes. to be able to experience the whole new airport and to be able to compare the airport design and management with that of changi. alexis was right man, its becoming a job hazard. but not one that i'm averse to. i alrd allocated time to be spent at the airport, just exploring. my poor family members. lol. anyway i'll take photos and upload them for you guys to see. hopefully i'll be able to get an internet connection there. i'll do it there then. if not i'll do it when i come back.

ryan just left for japan today. took TG412, transferring at suvarnabhumi before going to tokyo-narita. and the super fucking uber thing is.... WE"RE COMING BACK ON THE SAME FLIGHT AS WELL!!! ok apparently he's trasferring for one day at bangkok when he comes back from tokyo as well, en-route to singapore. and i'm flying back on sunday as well. and both our parents booked with the same airline. and both of us are now on the same flight. OMFG la. i never really believed in affinity and destiny, but babe as i said, you're mine now and you cant run away. TOO BAD! =D i seriously think we didnt meet by chance, considering how i've known him for abt a yr before we really started dating. but the thing is, we've shared alot of coincidental incidents together. so that just got me thinking. haha. anyway, i'll be saying hi to his parents on the flight. ryan told me his parents thought i was arrogant cause i didnt greet them the first time i saw them. i did la, but i think i was too soft. OK STOP LAUGHING. anyway hopefully the meeting goes well, i definitely wanna make a good first impression. damn cool la, not everyone get's to meet parents 30000ft up in the air. lol.

ok i'm starting to miss ryan. not in the i-miss-you-so-much-i'm-going-to-die way. but i just miss his messages and how he constantly keeps my phone ringing. i miss his voice and our late night calls. and the bugger is enjoying in japan! rmb to take my cards pls! =) and dont freeze in your fbts la you crazy boy. we'll meet on the flight back. enjoy your holiday! dont keep brooding eh?

anyway to the rest of my darlings, you're not forgotten as well ok? im still the same daryl and i still love you guys. i'll try to get something nice back for everyone, but sorry in advance if i get too engrossed with shopping and forget. lol. ok i'm finally gonna start my packing. see ya arnd dudes and dudettes!

ciaos

2007-11-05T23:50:00.000+08:00

and i thought things were going fine. for once in a long time i thought things were going fine. i learnt from my past mistakes; that honesty is the best policy amongst friends. and i did share it with them, not only because i did not want to keep them in the dark, and also because i know they'll be happy to know that i'm happy. and also because i care about them. and i don't think i did anything wrong this time.

i know it really aint your fault, part of me is really glad your family knows, that you're able to come to terms with yourself. and for a moment i really thought things were going smooth sailing. but then you called and told me you can't promise anything. i know circumstances are bad and i honestly don't blame you cause i understand what you're going through and what you're feeling. what with the anxiety and tension and what not. but you can't just tell that to someone and not expect him to not have a reaction. i guess as you said, you need time. so i'm not gonna jump the gun.

its been a long time since my heart made a leap of joy, but its also been a long time since it ached so badly.

Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything to just feel better
Any little thing to just feel better

2007-11-04T16:16:00.000+08:00

wtf?! i laughed myself silly cause of this pic.

2007-11-03T21:40:00.000+08:00

what a day! on friday which was yesterday, i went to sch for emaths2 tutorial. just had some tips for the bonus mcq thing coming up next week. then after that we went for our chong qing huo guo. i think about 7 people were supposed to turn up? maybe more i don't know. in the end it was only lek ning, joanna, mengyu, dawn, nat and me who went to eat. YA joined us later after the feast. if you think the steamboat is not spicy you're CRAZY. i nearly died eating it, and i only ate xiao la, the supposedly LEAST spicy of the soups. but nonetheless it was damn delicious. i cant remember how many lalas and prawns and meatballs and fuzhou fishballs i massacred. and the soup was damn delicious too. after all the food was cooked, the soup became real tasty and sweet. and less spicy cause the chicken soup mixed with the spicy one and it was more bearable. joanna ate till she couldnt walk. wtfs rights?

anyway after that we decided to go parco to walk around.lekning had to buy her formal wear so we went g2000. the one on the first floor had like nothing so we just walked around. went to giordano cause nat wanted to get boxers for her bf. and she chose damn uncle colours la! zomg. weird fetishes girl. HAHAHA. after that we went up to muji to look around. i bought a pen then went the other g2000 to fidn the girls. YA joined us around this time. lek ning look pretty ok in the blouse, then i saw sale for the ck underwear that i wanted to buy, so since YA was the only guy there, i dragged him to go buy. it was 50% discount! drools. but the only had one S so i just bought one. and come to think of it i think i need M. i need some space to breath. lmao.

after that i think we went to get ice cream. or was it before? i cant remember la, but we went to get ice cream. and jo forced me to buy mango tango. i was freaking full and really didnt feel like eating anymore but once we bought it and she fed me, it didnt stop. hahahaha. the most delicious mango drink i've placed my lips on la. we went to bugis street to shop around after that. was supposed to help YA makeover but i think we didnt have the time. he had cca and i was meeting my friend at 5. so we walked around, but seriously i think bugis street getting worse and worse la. the stuff are getting more and more expensive. plus the fashion style never changes. anyway i bought a shirt that said "fuck you you fucking fuck" not really my type of shirt, and i dont know why i bought it. maybe cause the red was really nice. i think im more in love with the colour than the words. i prob can't, and wont wear it to school. i DONT have an attitude prob ok? hahaha.

after i bought the shirt, jo and dawn went to look at other stuff while nat, YA and i went our separate ways. i took 133 down to AMK to meet david, apparently he needed to check something out at AMK Hub and so did i. so we met and went to get his contacts i think. and i went to check some stuff, after we were done, which was like in 30 mins, we decided to go down to town to slack and catch up. took a train down to orchard and went to taka to get a drink. i just realised he's so into organic stuff, not only food but products as well. everyday products like shampoo too. made me feel so unhealthy next to him. then we went to walk around taka cause he was looking for some stuff to buy, but it was too expensive so we left. went to kino cause i wanted to get a book, found it but ended up buying another book, the russian concubine. haha, nothing beats a sound investment in a good read man. then we walked from taka to meridien i think to eat dinner. he wanted to visit some old creepy houses behind orchard road but we chose food first.

reahed there pretty fast, maybe we walk fast, jo says i walk damn fast. he ended up eating while i drank milo peng. then we just chatted about practical everything under the sun. apparantly he's having some problems with this guy he likes, so just listened to his problems and stuff la. discussed other matters too like the 377 thing, but i can't really rmb all. as i said, we talk about EVERYTHING. he's a really nice guy to be around with la. and i don't know why we started talking about visiting OCH during dinner. it was just so random la. he was just teling me how he went OCH previously, but didnt really explore it too much. so i suggested that we go later that night. like after dinner. i've got no idea why i raised the idea la. see what happens when you put 2 crazy people together.

so we really decided to go OCH later that night. finished dinner and we dropped by his place to put my stuff down cause it was damn freaking heavy. took torches and water and we left. on the way in the cab i kept saying we were crazy to even attempt something like that la. then we finally reached. walked one whole round to get to the main road leading to the main entrance of OCH. the road was really long in, and very dark cause there were no streetlights. and actually the frightening thing was there were loads of cameras around the place la, but not in the OCH building itself. we walked up the long winding path until we got to the entrance. and by then i was like freaking out alrd la. i kept having second thoughts cause the place was so big and dark and empty. plus there were only the 2 of us. if there were more people i think we would have gone in. so the two of us chickened out and didnt dare to go in, but we're going back in the day to recce the place first some other time. anyone interested?

we decided to go back to changi village to eat then cause i was feeling real hungry. so we ewalked all the way back around the hill. it wasn't very tiring cause the weather was really good, like it just finished raining la. when we reached the eating house i ordered prata and practicaly devoured the food. when we were done eating we decided to head back cause by that time it was like 430am. time passes damn fast la, we left for OCH around 1130. so we walked around to look for cabs. and guess who i saw? LEK NING! hahaha! what a pleasant surprise la, she was with her bf and some other friends i think. slacking at some coffeeshop. so chatted awhile before i left. eached his place, bathed and stayed up awhile cause my hair was wet. we ended up chatting till like 5 or 6, he about his crush and me about ryan.

woke up around 1 plus i think. his mum bought lunch and she bought like half a chicken, roasted meat and roasted duck. walao i nearly gorged myself silly la. chatted with his mum about mahjong! hahaha, damn cute la. after that i went back home.

so now i'm just sitting at home doing nothing but blogging and listening to music. wanted to play mahjong at first but decided not to, just felt like having a quiet night tonight la. plus jo is going to her friend's house to stayover. hey jo, it doesn't matter if the interview didn't go very well ok? i'm sure they'll be able to see your passion, even if you don't know much military aircraft or whatnot. and you said there's a good chance right? stay strong and believe in yourself. <3

i guess that's it. gonna read my book now. haha, i said a quiet night right? i hope things turn out fine between you and tawan, david, best of luck. anyway, see ya guys! love.

2007-10-24T00:58:00.000+08:00

well oh well 377a is all the rage in singapore now isn't it? i did not really catch up with the news, but i just visited both websites and read both letters sent to the PM. and i am surprised that singaporeans have actually reacted to the matter in such a strong way. surprising because many people label singaporeans as "being afraid to speak up". a very good example is the uncle sitting at the coffeeshop. come GE he'll be all ranting and raving about how the govt cheats money ie. the CPF and annuity issue and how the PAP is blablabla... but i can bet you he difinitely will not be interviewed saying that. so it came as a surprise to see immense support both for keeping and repealing 377a.

for me personally speaking i'm definitely for repealing of 377a. to me, its not that much of the criminalisation of this section. its more about rights. i know this "rights" issue has always popped up on the humanitarian's list. but for me, its just a simple issue of, if straight couples can have a fantastic sexlife, why not gay couples? its not as if this section of the penal code is gonna make me stop and think about going to jail before having sex. seriously, its not as if this particular law can be enforced right? and previously when oral sex was still a crime between even straight couples, it wasnt strictly enforced as well was it. you simply cant enforce such laws. so why not give gay couples the right to celebrate their love as well. i know it isn't a big issue even if sex between men remains a crime cause people are still gonna be having sex. but i feel that since such a law is a "puppet law" in that sense, why not abolish it so that gay men can enjoy the same rights in sex as str8 men? it wont make a big diff if 377a is still around, but it will make a huge diff is it's abolished. the nation might not be totally gay-embracing now, but at least such small steps will instill confidence in the minority griups that they have got nothing to be afraid of.

another thing that caught my eye and totally pissed me off was this caption on keep377a.dot.com. actually i dont think it was on the website. i saw it in leo's email.

"If the institution of the family is important to you, please speak up by supporting this petition to keep Section 377A of the Penal Code, which prohibits gay sex in Singapore."

i do not see the family instituition playing a huge part in this issue. to me when i read that message, the thing that hit me in the face was "are you saying we gay people are influencing the young?" if thats the message you're trying to pass, what can be said about other "criminal acts"? if just simply being gay influences other people, what can be said about thieves, robbers, rapists, paedophiles and the list goes on and on. its really a personal choice whether or not you choose to emulate someone isn't it? and i know some will cry foul and mention that such an environment will be a breeding ground for the young minds. i personally think its quite a silly theory to habour. if it were so easy to change one's sexual orientation(straight to gay) why wouldn't i change mine(gay to straight)? if given a choice, i believe nobody would want to live life as a minority group, sexuality-wise or race-wise. its just because society believes in "safety in numbers" and who said its easy being a small voice in the vast ocean? this really isnt an outlet for me to flame, cause firstly i dont see the point. and secondly the person i'm gonna flame will most probably never see this. but you can't tell really, now on the age of computers.

what i'm trying to say is just cut the gay community some slack. its already tough enough having to live differently. now you're gotta fight to live differently? its really ironic how extraordinarily people have to fight to be accepted as ordinary.

some people say being homosexual is more of a choice than anything else. i wnder why they made that statement. for me, i do get brief moments when i feel close to girls, very much like love. but over time i've learnt to differentiate what is platonic love and what is love between someone i'm attracted to. i've been through the whole debate of battling with myself and my sexuality, and its just something you will realise sonner or later. being gay to me is not just about who turns me on or not. its also about who im attracted to, both physically and emotionally. i think what defines sexuality is not so much the physical attraction but more the psychological and emotional attraction and perception as well. when i say perception, i mean who you see living life together with you. its a very complex issue to understand, and everyday i'm still grappling with new things. its not as simple as i like girls or i like boys fullstop. and i guess i can't blame others for not being able to understand. as i said, its a more complex emotion than physical attraction.

the bottomline is this, being gay to me is not a big deal. its just something that i think has been ingrained in me so much so that i do not wake up thinking i'm gay. its not smething that floats around in my mind. in the past maybe yes, when i was still coming to terms with my identity but not now anymore. so i just hope that gays will nto be given such a hard time, given that they already have many things to grapple with. but i know thats impossible as it takes many many years to change mindsets and stimatism. i just feel that its real silly to fight over keeping/repealing 377a. it makes it seem as if its so difficult for us as a nation to reach an agreement on basic rights. i feel the more this drags on, the more of a laughing stock it will become. its just plain ironic that we have to tussle and argue for such a long period of time to come to such a simple decision. and frankly speaking, even if after the long ardous debate the section is repealed, it has really lost its true meaning hasnt it?

2007-10-21T16:15:00.000+08:00

this is like SO random. and only a few people will understand the exhiliration and the blood pumping sensation. like FINALLY after that foolish act of an kank-ing the hong zhong....

2007-10-18T00:00:00.000+08:00

i dont know why i suddenly feel like blogging now. perhaps i've just got the impulse to. moreover its like been ages since i last updated. blogger's apparently waging war with me since its taking so bloody long to load the pics i wanna upload. i can't remember how many times i actually closed the application cause i was so impatient. i'll try it another time guys.

anyway i guess the reason why i'm blogging is because i went to the tp website to check for the release of out ttb. its coming out tmr at 10am. too bad i've got work and it kinda adds to the sucky, churning, whirling feeling i'm having in my stomach now.

so i was just browsing through the website, saw lots of changes. for example It school is changing its name so now its sounds much more professional and sophisticated. and they're opening a new school of humanities and social sciences. but it'll only be having one course for now; diploma in psychology studies or something. after i was done browsing, decided to go check out the AMS website, and i don't know why i had this feeling that i'm really so grateful for having been able to amke it into his course.i mean, its one of my loves. but compared to people like YA whose passion and knowledge i believe far exceeds mine, i feel so insignificant. but no matter what, i feel that all of us AMS students do have a passion for aviation, its just maybe some isn't that obvious and some don't show it. but being in the pioneer batch, and seeing how much the course is growing, in terms of popularity and prestige, just makes me immensely proud to beAN AMS STUDENT.

seriously speaking, i've never regreted taking this path and i'll never forget how difficult it was for me to get here. and how ass damned lucky i was. i think people close to me would know. so all the more i feel i must treasure this god-bestowed opportunity. so seeing newspaper articles about our course positively makes me glow. the bummer is that they featured student from some other course?! i think we all felt very indignant about it. but oh wells, there'll be more opportunities to come.

and i know i keep saying i'm quite reluctant about school starting, but looking back i'm really looking forward to the new approved curriculum. we're studying airlines in-depth if i remember correctly from my conversation with paul yeaterday. and paul said the deal with embry riddle is positive said and done. with the new tweaking of our curriculum, we'll actually be givin advanced standing for their freshman and junior year. so basically we'll get our degree in 3+2 yrs for american varsities have 4 yrs of study. on top of that there's this masters thing as well but i cant really remember the details. and paul also said in about 1-2 yrs times tp might be taking over the running of seletar airport and we'll be having our lessons and internship there i think. doesn't everything sound so EXCITING? to me it bloody hell is. on another note i think i might reconsider the KL trip. cause paul said its 2 days at the airport, plus we'll be going to the control tower too. and he said its 200+. not sure how much of it's true, but he said there'll be a final confirmation when school starts. we'll see by then.

went for the class chalet ytd. before that joanna and i went to cut our hair. she like totally cut off her whole fringe la. while i trimmed my hair. i didn't get the cut i wanted. i actually wanted to cut my fringe off. like leave it arund eye level, and cut it wispy-ly. the sides and back would be long as well. but i was quite ok with the one he gave me so didnt say anything. besides he had cut my top so short that even if i had said it wasn't the style i wanted i guess he wouldn't be able to do anything about it anyway. so i just let it rest. so my hair hasn't changed much, as everyone has pointed out to me. except maybe looking much tidier than before.

jo on the other hand totally had a makeover la. her hair was pretty nice seriously until kenneth started styling it. i don't think the way he styled it suited her. the unstyled version was much nicer. anyway after that we made our way over to the chalet. it was just fun la. we had like the most delicious food ever. those freaking HUGE prawns! as you'd know, i'd probably could have had a gastronomical orgasm and died blissfully there. i think i was sucking on the head in a most unsightly manner. and tearing at the prawn meat like a hungry animal la. but it really was heavenly. not to forget the salmon and the alaskan crabs which were huge! i think it was bigger than those i saw in alaska la. the credit all went to nat. THANKS ALOT. i'm definiely gonna visit the restaurant if they continue providing such heavenly orgasmic-inducing food.

as usual, we went cycling like everyone does at chalets. but we rode like to bedok jetty and back countless times till my ass hurt like hell. but its ok now. i hope jo's one isn't hurting that badly. along the way i tried to learn how to cycle without using my hands. like just peddling la. at first it was kinda difficult and i kept swerving left and right. so i cycled in front of the group to prevent any accidents. after awhile i got the hang of it and its just totally cool la! its like a whole new experience of cycling. everyone should try it one day. its not difficult to do and don't be afraid of falling, even though you'll get that oh-no-i'm-falling feeling.

towards the wee hours of the morning, i was like pestering YA to go ngiht cycling. at first it was just supposed to be jo, YA and i only. but jordon, gawaine, kangwei and weisheng joined us in the end. we cycled to bedok jetty, again! before deciding to cycle to changi safra, the place where jo held her chalet last yr. it was a damn long cycle there and back and was damn tiring as well. had to sit on my ass cheeks, like slanted to one side cause the place between my legs and ass was damn painful. by the time we came back it was like close 10 7 in the morning alrd. waited for my turn to bath before going to bed. woke up at around 10 plus. they were packing up and preparing to leave alrd. returned the bikes and walked all the way across to take 43 back. when i reached serangoon i was alrd so tired, really felt like taking a cab. i don't usually take for such short distances la cause i think its damn wasteful but i was really so lethargic and tired. but just at that moment 853 appeared so i boarded the bus instead. reach home, bathed and dropped dead on my bed. was cursing the unit upstairs cause they're like renovating the whole house. with all the drilling it was really difficult to sleep but eventually i drifted off to lala land.

woke up around 7 plus. i'm quite angry at myself for not going to changi beach to watch the A380 arrive in SIA livery. but i was really exhausted. wondered if YA went in the end. he didn't contact me. if he did i really realy salute him.

anyway i think that's the end to it. there's work tmr and i'm feeling so sick of it. i know its not back breaking and physically tough and i've really got nothing to comlain and whine about. but i still hate it all the same. sucks. i'm off to watch my show and sleep. see ya guys.

have a great day.

2007-09-13T11:47:00.000+08:00

wow i'm damn sad la. got my results and its definitely not up to what i expected. B+ for Introca, Cads and Facom. sucks totally. A for engineering Maths, *sniggers*. and distinction for Wrtoral and Effcomm. well, maybe i've gotta work harder then. but the weird thing is my gpa's 3.70 which is higher than jo's 3.67 even though she got many more As than me. weird la.

2007-09-12T12:22:00.000+08:00

so well i'm in vancouver. came here after a long plane ride, like over 10 hours. i thought that china airlines sucked, well, compared to SIA i think it does. but its pretty good alrd. for eg, they have great in-flight services, great movies. i watched brokeback, notting hill, life or something like that, that rat show*i don't know how to spell it* and many others la. and i played the mario nitendo games too. it was like super uber cool la. and that was only in economy. business was much better. i sat business on the flight to taipei cause the load factore was really low. but the plane to vancouver was packed, so economy for me. anyway the business had like HUGE seats la. i could stretch out in like any direction i wanted. could curl up and sleep even. and you get to choose meals from like this list. i chose xo sauce lamb which sure was yummy. and they give you this huge list of wines to choose from. took ice wine which was fabulous. its apple ice wine btw, from canada and its really great tasting plus unique cause you just don't make wine from apples.

anyway here in canada the pace of life is real slow. its like a retirees village. loads of old people but many asians as well. MANY CHINESE students here. loads of cute angmohs as well. and chinese too of course. i prefer asians, but actually as long as you look good its fine. lol.

as for the scenary, wow, we're on the land cruise part first. so we toured the western coast of canada which is near the vancouver side. then we went east to the canadian rockies. and i can tell you, all that you've heard about how beautiful and magnificent the rockies are, its true. the scenary just blows you away completely. i tried my best to take pics that best portrayed the beauty, but its never as good as seeing it with your own eyes.

i went on a glacier! it was really cool cause apparently the glacier is growing all the time, its just that you can't see it. now i didn't know that. and we could like just take the water that had melted up there and drink it straightaway cause it was so pure and untainted. and it made me wonder how magical mother nature is. despite all the beatings she's taken, global warming and pollution etc, she's still able to maintain such beauty and purity. its just amazingly wonderful. and i met loads of interesting people on the tour too. really opened my eyes as to how sheltered and pampered we singaporeans really are. and i'm not saying it in a deragotary manner.

now i'm back in the hotel, using the free internet services they have. tomorrow will be a free day i guess so i'll be exploring the city before i heard up for the cruise. looking forward to it cause i know and expect the views to be gorgeous. both the land and its people. anyway i've gotta run cause there are loads of people waiting for me. i'll update whenever i can and to check on my results as well. updates will probably be at unearthly hours cause canada is 15 hours behind singapore time. take care people back there. esp the jc kids. STUDY HARD and feel my love. and joanna pls don't rot. <3

2007-08-30T01:57:00.000+08:00

OMFG rowan atkinson should be shot and hanged. absolutely hilarious!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4t03uBWYCw

laughed till i teared. man hope you enjoy it.

2007-08-24T20:00:00.000+08:00

this has gotta be the wickedest, crankiest, wackiest, shittiest LMAO video i have EVER SEEN. kudos to TP CMM! that's what i call guts and balls.

2007-08-12T22:44:00.000+08:00

GOD... my neighbours are playig mahjong. VERY LOUDLY. trying to tempt me sia, hand so itchy already..

anyway, today jo and i went to vivocity to look for formal wear or the wrtoral presentation. walked like the whole of vivo and couldnt find anything that she liked. the g2000 at vivo cleared stock over the weekend cause when i went there on sat? it was still full of clothes. today it was so empty. but i saw this white shirt that i kinda liked. so went to try with a pair of black working pants. god i look so matured. and smart. its true, really looks very smart. and i tried wearing my pants damn high alrd! not like hanging precariously off my hips. and i realised i really am quite thin. not nice la. its one thing to be slim, another to be emaciated. time to hit the gym and buff up a lil. you cant go wrong with some more muscle mass. LEE YAN XIN! let's really go run together. instead of just saying and saying and not doing. next time come my house play mahjong, bring clothes to change ok? cause we're going gym.

anyway, the shirt was really ex, 79 bucks, which is way out of my budget so decided not to buy on the spot. thinking about it, but i've only mon and tues to decide. after we decided vivo had nothing, we went down to PS g2000 to look for more clothes, and meet stanley as well. got there and there were like loads more clothes compared to vivo la! so picked out a few for jo and wen to try. she looks nice in it. kinda hot. lol cause its like tight fit and the cutting totally flaunted her assets. 9 is too small for you girl! you've slimmed down. wahaha. she tried and decided to buy a white top with capped sleeves. very elegant. then i decided to try out the shirts there but they made me look damn uncle. so didnt but anything. maybe i'll buy the white shirt since its so nice bah!! after that we went with stanley to flash and splash and then went home. jo went to her ah yi's house. OH!! she lent me the dead silence disc. apparently its very scary, so gonna watch it later alone in the room with the lights off. some more its raining real heavily now. great atmosphere for scaring myself. school starts real late tomorrow at 1. so can stay up later tonight.

the visit to T3 and boarding the A380 was really cool! took a few nice shots but lazy to upload now. i'll do it another day. joanna, your ba bing is in my hands. hahahhaha. the plane is HUUUUUGE! damn, maybe even huge or gargantuan is an understatement. you should see the wings! its like massive la. and all the tow tugs and vehicles look so tiny when they're zooming around the apron area. its so funny. we boarded the plane 3 times. i guess by the 3rd time the novelty wore off cause everyone wasn't as excited as the first time. most of us were sleeping. but its still real cool nonetheless...

_______

When the son came back, the mother immediately ate the food without a word. She stared at him.The son took a taste on his mother's food and spitted out immediately. He ranted at his wife," Didn't I told you that my mother cannot take toosalty food?!" The wife shouted,"OK! She's your mum!You cook for her in future!"

After saying that, she stormed into their room angrily.Feeling helpless, the son told the mother,"Mum, don't eat this anymore. I will cookyou a bowl of noodles."

The mother said, "Son, you have something to tell me? Don't keep everything to yourself."

Son:"Mum, I am going to get promoted soon and my upcoming working schedule will be very, very tight...and as for my wife...ummm...she saidshe will be going out to work...."

The mother understood what he meant and said in a begging manner, "Son, please don't send me to the Old Folks' Home.."

The son remained silent and tried to think of a good reason to persuade her mother.

Then he said," There is nothing wrong with the Old Folks' Home.Once my wife had gone out to work, no one will serve you as well as the Home which provides you meals and care.It would definitely much better than being at home."

The son went for a bath after that and went into the Study Room. He looked out from the windows and thought back and hesitated a while.... Hismother has been remaining as a widow since she was young with him, and brought him up painstakingly, solely.

She tried all means to earn as much as she could, in order to support him in studying overseas.Yet she expected nothing nor used her past painful experience to threaten his son to be filial.

While now, his wife is threatening him with the stake of their marriage."Should I send my Mum to the Home?" He asked himself. "The only person who will accompany youtill the end of your life would be your wife.." said a friend before.

"Your mother is in old age now, and if she's lucky, she might be able to live for a few more years longer.Why not be filial to her for this period of time? reminded by some relatives.

He was stuck in a dilemma. He did not want to think anymore, in order not to affect his decision.The son found a Home with high standards, built on a beautiful and transquil mountain top. He told himselfthat he would feel much better when the more he spent.

When the son helped his mother into the lobby of the Home, the 42" TV was turned on. The programme shown on screen was a comedy. But no one was laughing.

A few old folks, dressed similarly in clothing, were sitting there,in a daze. There was one who was sitting improperly on a sofa, there was one who was bending down to pick up a piece of biscuit from the floor, there was one who was talking to himself...

The son knew that his mother likes sunlight, so he chose a room with ample sun rays shining into the room.By viewing out from the room, was a big piece of greenery scene. Few nurses were wheeling some old folks out for some fresh air.It was so pathetic of silence in the background. The sun would still need to set down. Soon it was dusk.

The son told the mother,"Mum, I am leaving." The mother waved to him to say goodbye, opening her toothless mouth..

He turned back to look at his mother. She was full of grey hair and wrinkled skin with deep set eyes...He found that she was really old. He remembered when he was six, due to some circumstances,his mother cannot bring him along with her thus temporarily placed him at a relative'shome for few days. He recalled hugging his mother's thigh and begged her not to leave him alone.In the end, his mother never leave him alone and decide to stay with him. He stopped thinking and left.

When he returned home, his wife and his mother-in-law were busy discarding things from his mother's room, happily.One of the discarded item was his tall trophy which he won as First Prize when he was young. He wrote an essay on "MY MOTHER".

The second item discarded was a dictionary. That was the first gift from his mother,who scrimped and saved for a month in order to buy for him. He shouted,"Enough! Stop discarding anymore!"

His mother-in-law cried," There were so much rubbish. If don't discard, there would not be any place for my stuff.."

His wife continued,"Yeah! Need to dump away that old, stinky bed of your mum too. We will buy a new bed for my mum later,"

He saw some pictures from the stack..they were taken at a zoo and amusement park when his mother brought him there.

" These are precious belongings of my Mum! You can't discard them!" "What sort of attitude is this?I demand you to apologise to my Mum NOW!" ranted the wife. The husband said,"When I got married with you, that showed that I will love your Mum too. But why can't you do the same too?"

He went back to the Home and saw his mother weeping in between her frail legs. She was missing the moments when her son would apply ointmentfor her every night...

The son kneeled before her and said,"Mum, here I come. I brought theointment too."

The mother said," I will apply it myself, Son! You still need to work tomorrow. Go home, Son!"

Son said,"Mum, please forgive me! Let's go home!"
_____

found this on the internet. its most probably a fake story from those chain mails. and it has loads of typos and grammar errors. but the message is still there. love your parents for they love you unconditionally. the last part when the mother still asked the son to go home really touched me. it showed how much she loved him, and how much she was willing to sacrifice for him. children might never even sacrifice that much for their parents. i've thought of the future before. how easy it would be to chuck my parents and aunt aside. i wouldn't need to take care of three old folks, and wouldn't need to spend so much money. but then i think back at all the times they have loved and cared for me. how they took care of me when i fell sick when i was little. how they bought me what i wanted. how they took care of me and loved and sheltered me. and i don't think i can live with the memory of dumping them. i wouldnt be able to live with the guilt, not after how much they have sacrificed for me. even my aunt who i know loves me alot. i wouldn't dump them for anything. its my responsibility to look after them anyway isnt't it?

so.. the bottomline is, pls love your parents. and aunt in my case. have a good day. =)

2007-08-07T00:43:00.000+08:00

FUCK. i have never felt more regretful about rubbing my eyes before, and never wanted a LASIK as badly as now..

2007-07-30T23:12:00.000+08:00

just finished watching Inside:North Korea. its some documentary on national geographic about the secret life of the norhth koreans. basically this nepalese eye doctor wants to go to N korea for a humanitarian trip to help the blind due to cataracts regain their eyesight. and NGC took this opportunity to film N korea and show the world the pictures.

the first thing thats struck me was how poor and emaciated the peole looked. pyongyang's apparently the city of the privilledged. so you can only stay in the city if you're a high ranking official. BUT the people still look so malnourished and underfed! i can't imagine the horrors in the countryside. everywhere in N korea, you see soldiers, and the streets are empty. they have like 12 lanes highways but there are hardly any cars. and this documentary had to be shot in secret. that's how dangerous and scary it really is.

the thing that hit me was how loyal the people were to the great leader Kim Jung Il. personally for me its absurd when he's enjoying his henessy and cognac and imported limousines and reiterating jechu, or his idea of self-reliance for the N koreans. and the thing is the people give him credit for everything, even when they're starving on the streets. when the patients of the nepalese doctor managed to regain their sight through his sheer humanity and hardwork, the first thing they do is thank and kowtow to kim jung il. its absurd fr me as an outsider, and realy scary as well to see the sheer and fierce loyalty these people have for their country and leader. sure who knows if they're truly loyal or just scting out of immense fear. but what's the difference really? they'll still being brainwashed and revering kim jung il. its really creepy.

when i see the pictures if the poor children, see how frail and unhealthy and emaciated and malnourished they are, it strikes a chord in my heart. not only am i enjoying myself back in aircon comfort, but so is most of the world. when like 3million people, about 10% of N korea'spopulation can die in a famine, i'm throwing my food away. life really isn't fair, and we do need more people like this nepalese doctor. and the sad thing is, no one's doing anything to help them, me included. though i sympatise and feel for them, i'm not really doing anything concrete to help right? i'm not shooting anyone nor am i shooting myself. i just wish somehow these people will be emancipated from their suffering.

there was this officer who defected to S korea, and he talked abut how he ran away from N korea with is friend. how he got past the electric fence on the 38th parallel but his friend got electrocuted right in front of his eyes. and how his family had to pay te price for his defection. in N korea, the family of defectors or people who oppose rule will get sent to concentration camp where many never emerge alive. so one can only imagine what happened to his family. i know after this i'll still go back to my creature comforts, i'll still have my running water, my security in singapore. but what will have changed is the realisation that the only difference between me and them is that i have the luck to be born in singapore and not N korea. we're pretty much the same people on the planet really. sometimes we can't change the world as which we like, but the least we can do is to spare a thought for them, and count our blessings. hopefully the world will be a better place afterall.

2007-07-26T01:54:00.000+08:00

got lots of studying to do. and less than a month to go. don't give up now. dont give your dream of flying, just persevere a lil more and you'll reach it..

anyway i just realised design and artsy stuff isnt just about drawing and painting. my bro just started sch and he's got like 4 assignments already. gotta take pictures and draw abstract intepretations. on top of that gotta explain your interpretation. LOL poor him. but at least its his direction. glad for him. =)

hmmm, lek ning asked if i had a gf before today..

2007-07-25T01:03:00.000+08:00

i really like this dance vid. and the song. its so groovy.... and lively! notice the two girls in the second half. they dance real vibrantly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xORKJN6Dv4c

2007-07-24T19:32:00.000+08:00

yesterday was hao's bird day. earlier on we han't gotten anything yet la! only a card i bought the previous day. so jo and i, being the earliest to end school, went present hunting at suntec/marina sq. walked god knows how long, about 1 hr plus. browsed all the shops. then saw this real beautiful wallet at topman. its like white with black squares. sort of like checked patterns. wanted to buy but deliberated. so we went for a drink first. then fish came and we proceeded back to topman. waited for xin, when she came we deliberated even more, finally decided to but it cause it was really pretty, and there were not many nice shirts, with fitting sizes la. so bought all the stuff, then went to get the cake.

notice its like all last min? haha. went to swenson's since we know the boy likes cookies n cream. bought the small one cause there were so few of us. after ding the icing we went to fish and co. sat down an practically made a nuisance of ourselves. but the fish and co staff were really pleasant and the service was real good too. such gorgeous smiles. really made the whole environment much more cheery.

waited for hao to come. when he did jo passed me her phone with duatau's message. so i had to do the whole toilet thing again. it was so fake can? carrying my bag to the toilet. actually had to write her message on the smelly toilet bowl la. eww. anyway went back and we ordered our dishes, mine was fish and chips. wow, it was like heavenly la. the cheese inside was orgasmic. blended real well. we drank the'chow' soup too. LMAO. after dinner we had the cake cutting. this guy came with the cake and dry ice and just said "ka le hoon ji eh" which loosely means swirling the dry ice la. cracked me up damn badly. it was like so out of place la!! hao had to stand on the bar stool. didnt help that he's so tall alrd. he looked so unstable and wobbly. was so afraid he would fall. then the fish and co staff started their cheering. god, eeryone says my voice is loud, but this guy's voice was like 10 times louder la! ok not so exaggerated, but he was damn loud. after the cheers, the staff took a pic with a polaroid cam and stuck it to a card. it was so beautiful man. really good service.

after that we cut the cake and gave hao his present. then we took more pictures and smeared cream on him. jo got creams in BOTH his ears. like EWW. better not do that to me on my birthday. after the cake, we paid and left. went to the fountain of wealth to sit around. then xin and the rest went to dedicate 'graduation' to hao. i know its cliched la, but when it was playing, and being surrounded by all my closest friends, just felt so blissful and lucky. teared a lil, not cry! wasn't sad la, just tears of joy. LOVE YOU GUYS! don't think anyone saw but told jo afterwards. haha. after that we went to the fountain. jo and i were like 'huat ah!! tian hu! 13 yao!!!' LMAO. was running around the fountain like litle kids. hey, we're enjoying our youths. we can't do that anymore when we're old farts.

after all the merry making, was getting pretty late so we parted ways la. wished hao happy birthday once again then we left. really enjoyed myself last night. when i reached home i was like thinking 'what if one day i'm attached and my friends wanna celebrate my birthday with me?' i guess i'll celebrate earlier with my partner. then on the actual date with my friends.i mean, if he loves me he'll know my friends are important. but, its damn difficult to juggle such activities la. so its better to stay single now.

anyway i'm off for dinner now. pondering over THAT gorgeous puma bag.. maybe i'll buy it this friday. i so want it! give me $119 pls. hahahahha. bye for now. =)

2007-06-23T20:59:00.000+08:00

holidays are ending real soon. havent real started on introca and im still going to punggol to play OVERNIGHT mahjong. what a studious lil boy huh? lol. went for the class BBQ and it sure was a hell lot of fun. hmmm, what can i say? i know more of my classmates. i see a new side of them. and it was damn fun too. so was pulau ubin. as what lekning, van and i discussed on that lil islet in sentosa, while our class may not be like super united. but at least there are no conflicts so far. yes, there are cliques, and i do hope to know some people better, but overall i think our class is just great. we've got great people, real responsible ones. real wacky ones. real sociable ones. and coming to poly made me understand something; not all ahbengs, mutts, smokers, etc have what people would call "bad character". in dance i know a few mutts, loads of smokers, but they're all really decent and nice people. though i am pretty sure righ now i'll be addicted to every vice except smoking, but hey, dont be so quick to judge.

dance has been realy fun so far. though its tough, like the physical stuff. they really force you to stretch, and they make you do insane exercises like crunches and pushups, starjumps etc to the beat of the song! its a lil like aerobics, doing out warmups. but if you think its easy you must be kidding. sure its not as tough as DB or canoepolo. but its still hard on you. im starting to like dance more than i ever thought i would. i guess, since i don't have a concrete dance background, i was quite surprised that i got through auditions. but now being there, i realise having a backgound or not doesnt really matter. unless you have like freestyle la. then definitely those with technique will pwn those without. but i like dance because i like performing, i like the recognition, i like the expression. its hard to explain, but even though we're learning the same choreography, the same steps, but when we dance together, you can see the different styles emerging. and thats what's so enthralling and beautiful about dance IMHO.

so even though i keep complaining about going to dance, esp if im not in sch cause i gotta make the effort to travel there, i guess i'll still go eventually. cause its dance.

oh and i'm thinking of getting a tatoo. as in sriously starting to think abt it. but, i gotta wait till im 18. no problem with me cause i don't wanna rush into something that's like so significant. no matter what, its permanent. and i must still think about the stigma, esp if im gonna work in the army or something. for now i'll just think about it. i've still got like 9 mths? lus i'm scared of the pain. hahaha. =/

2007-06-21T03:28:00.000+08:00

Golden Village exits make me feel like something the cinema spat out

The Straits TimesJune 19, 2007

EVERY time I watch a movie at a Golden Village (GV) cinema I am not familiar with, when the movie is over, I spend at least 10 to 15 minutes getting lost and trying to navigate my way back to the cinema lobby to get my bearings.

I am beginning to feel like something the cinema spits out after it has collected my money and shown me the movie. Like something it can't wait to get rid of once the transaction is complete.

GV should think of a more pleasant way to let its patrons exit than the back-alley, non-air-conditioned, concrete-paved, echo-ey, bare hallways that lead to some obscure exit out into the open air. It is unpleasant and extremely inconvenient.

I noticed this does not happen when I watch a movie on a weekday during office hours. Can't GV just cordon off a lane through the main hallways for exit-ers only? With some planning, this is not impossible. GV, please stop treating patrons so badly as soon as the movie is over. Provide a better movie-going experience, and not just until the credits roll.

Pamela Chong Kwang Ngo (Ms)

gosh, does she know how stupid she's making herself out to be? and she's telling the whole world.... talk about shooting yourself in the foot.

2007-06-06T17:23:00.000+08:00

last paper tmr, introca, must do well in this last paper cause its like the most relevant one? maths was good. and i realised something. actually i realised it before but didnt want to admit it. the only reason why i hated maths was cause i sucked at it. when you're good at something you wouldn't hate it. i actually felt good, felt satisfaction doing the paper. lol! i told jo i hope i'd get full marks if i don't make any mistakes. did i sound ambitious? anyway the facom paper was ok.. made some mistakes and stuff, but i seriously don't find it difficult, just hope i'll do well for it. well enough to get into the top 15. man... i'll die a happy and contented man.

been slacking this whole day, keep thinking there'll be time, but its like coming to evening time now. gotta start hitting the books if i wanna catch my roland garros. looking forward to sentosa tmr after introca, but must confirm who's going and who's not. then there's mahjong afterwards! i've deprieved myself enough la. the whole idea about not playing mahjog was to let me study, though half the time i was doing somthing else. but its yuan zhe de wen ti ok? can finally play tmr. wahaha.

currently in love with this song 没有童话. i like the melody, the lyrics and the mv. great song overall. and jo, its the song i wanted to send you! next time when i see you online la ok?

很想問　現在你好嗎
微微胖了　他很寵你嗎
你卻輕輕抱了我一下
然後微笑　再沒有說話

擋不住　命運裡偏差
遺憾沒法　與你再一起
經得起波折　共渡患難
現在能爭氣　可是已被你捨棄

＊冷落你　疲倦了才望你　
其實鑽戒　他一早送贈吧　
明白我　常犯錯　從前自私的我　
從未對你　獻出很多＊

＃贏了讚譽　但是敗了給他　
你與他很安定嗎　沒有哭泣跟吵架　
我無奈　亦盡量微笑祝福你　
懷念你　也替他歡喜　

完成了志願　但是沒你參加　
如成功必須代價　
這個懲罰　太清楚多可怕　
這結局　無法刪改嗎　童話已淪陷了　
你已放下　沒牽沒掛　
(你再告別　剩低念掛)＃

可不可虛假到對我好　裝出很人道
無必要怕他看到　你怕他吃醋
更說他很好　要我怎麼的好

2007-06-03T01:20:00.000+08:00

woot. so i just got my laptop. actually typing from it now so its like super uber cool. got a good deal cause my bro knows some guy at the i fair so he gave some serious discounts la. got everything up and running so far. vista is kinda cool cause its like new ad stuff. but it is slow la. that i gotta admit. thinking of waiting to see if there are major problms, if not i'll just stick with vista then, lazy to go buy the xp oem, plus its expensive too. anyway i'm gonna go sleep alrd. bushed and there's loads of studying to do tmr. ciao. =)

2007-05-22T23:49:00.000+08:00

had a sudden urge to look through our old photos, read old blog entries. i really miss karen. i miss sibei duatau. i mis xin. i mis jiahao. i miss joel. i miss joanna. i miss miri. i miss the old times...

bu zai hu tian chang di jiu, zhi zai hu cheng jing yong you.

2007-05-20T18:48:00.000+08:00

dance orientation was damn fun ytd la. got to meet lots of new friends. they are all damn talented in dance, each with their own style. and i realised something, dance isn't really about technique, its more of showmanship, confidence and personal style. even if you don't know the professional techniques, with the showmanship and confidence, the performance is just as stunning. that's what i love, and am loving about dance. i'm able to express myself, my style, my feelings and moods. it doesn't matter if the audience understands it, but its just personally liberating.

met really crazy, friendly and talented people like amanda who has superb linguistic skills, nelson, who stays in potong pasir too. nadia, malina, may, genevieve, justin, andy, martin. so many la. i'm really gonna look forward to dance on fridays.

so after dance, i hurried off to sindy's b'day party. took a train down to simei and tried flagging a cab for like 15mins i think. but there was no cab in sight, then the bus came along. so i hopped on. dropped off at some ulu place in changi, at the SAF ferry terminal. didn't know where the place was so i called up jo and she told me. then i managed to flag down a cab(my one and only succesful one) and he said the pit was at carpark 3 which i passed alrd. so he drove me back to carpark 3 and let me off. then i realised that pit 28 was NOT at carpark 3 but carpak 7!!! so i tried flagging a cab again but there were none. so the bus came along and i took till SAF ferry terminal again. which was the last stop before the bus looped again. there i walked along the road all teh way trying to flag cabs but either they didn't want to fetch me or there were none. so i got so damn frustrated and decided to jog all the way down to pit 28.

when i reached it was pretty late alrd, was quite paiseh also so wished sindy happy birthday. was totally famished but didn't dare to eat too much chicken wings cause i never cooked and came late. was afraid if i ate the food people wouldn't be happy or what la. so i just stuck to beehoon and fried rice which no one seemd to touch.

after that we just went to the beach to walk walk. jo and duatau were playing with the water. wanted to join but i was in shoes and was quite tired also so i didnt. oh! and they showed me this relightable candle which was so freaking cool la. it'll relight after you blow it out. i can just imagine how hilarious it would be if you tried to blow out your birthday candles. haha. some of the people there were damn rude and irritating la, but didn't want to pick a fight so pretended not to hear. no point also la. they're nobodies to me. after that we walked the long way back again, 1.6km one way. so i walked like a total of 3.2km?! lmao.

went home, the journey was unexpectedly fast. and jo almost got knocked down by a car. it was so freaky when she told me last night la, and so surreal. never comtemplated what would happen if any of my close friends were to meet with any mishap. you never know if anything's gonna happen right?

2007-05-14T23:55:00.000+08:00

i slept in the afternoon till like 10 plus? woke up for dinner and some show on the helios vrash. damn interesting la. being in this course has made me realise that there's more to aviation than just high flying, so to speak. many things to learn, many goals i've set for myself. i'm just afraid i can't meet them. seriously. firstly there' that covated 15 places for the top 15 in my course to go learn how to fly with the SYFC. i so wanna get that la! but top 15, hmmm... then there's the montreal trip, and the france trip. as usual only for the elite. do i really wanna do well and score in the course, making the honours list and dean's list? or do i just wanna go through it like an average, normal student? i really don't know. maybe i should stop skipping lectures and start doing my maths. and really putting in effort to study, even if it effcom or wrtoral or something else that's so irrelevant to us i feel. sigh...

anyway i went for the squash trials. everyone could play decently so i really can't gauge myself based on them. but i know there's this one guy who CONFIRM GUARUNTEE can go in one la. his squash is like so good already. and he packs such powerful shots. and he's pretty acurate too. so that's one place less. squash was really fun. more fun than i'd expected and i really do wanna pick it up. then there's dance i went for last friday. at least i think that went pretty well. i felt that the choreography was quite simple, but you had to have the tempo and the beat. and it can get quite fast at times but if you can stay up its really quite simple. i do hope i amde it cause i wanna join dance. its really fun adn the people are friendly. i think the choreography was so simple that they had to make us freestyle at the end la. everyone was like just squirming, not really damcing, so i decided to give ai a shot. just danced and moved to the beat. hopefully it caught someones' eye. lmao.

school's been pretty much the same these few days. my fav days are still mondays and fridays. i just hope we'll get to drop the irrelevant subjects and start being more specific, maybe then i'll find the drive to push myself to my limit. its effcomm for now then.

2007-05-10T20:49:00.000+08:00

we've started skipping lectures. haha first was CADS, now is EMATH 1. but its only on thursday la. thursday are the most boring days of the week la. seriously. what with the FACOM tutotial and CADS lectures. on a brighter note, i'm starting to like school even more. everyday i learn something new about someone in the class. or maybe i alrd knew but i forgot. but its still counted as learning something new what! lol.

so tomorrow there's INTROCA which is undoubtedly our favourite module so far. i just can't wait to get into the real aviation bits la. though history is interesting, it really is cause i spent 2 hrs on wiki reading stuff up. but i came here to learn how planes work. how airports run. so tell me! dance auditions are tmr as well, it sounds pretty simple. they just give you a cheoreography and you gotta learn it. i don't think it would be a problem la. but sill i'm hoping that i'll pass. i really wanna join dance, its fun and exciting. and come to think of it, i've always been interested in dance. i actually wanted to join modern dance instead of hip hop, but i put my name down for hip hop and now i kinda regret it la. but no worries, we'll see how things go at the auditions. wish me luck!

then on saturday i've got squash early in the morning. really wanna get into these two CCAs. canoe polo too tiring la. i cannot make it. lol. now i know why all the people are so buff. i guess i'll just have to gym and tan on my own. i would join wakeboarding la! if only it wasn't so ex. bowling was like ex enough la. looks like wakeboarding will have to wait till i can support myself. and hopefully before i get arthritis or something!

so as you can see, i've got an extrememly busy wekend coming up. plus some backlog homework yet to be done. whoever said poly was slack? argh. anyway i'm off to watch my show now. if you don't know what it is, its the channel 8 one at 9pm. its hilarious so you should get a life and watch it. ciao. =)

2007-04-28T08:15:00.000+08:00

hey, i'm really sorry about it. i can understand how you're feeling, but it really wasn't on purpose. i'd rather we go there and enjoy than go there half-heartedly. i apologise.

2007-04-23T22:59:00.000+08:00

the day that i have been anticipating has like finally come! and is passing soon. it came without much ado, but its just the feeling that you've stepped out of a phase of your life. sec sch is behind me. i'll definitely miss the times in cchs the 7 of us spent together, but i also know that the more i miss it, the more it shows that good things never last forever so do treasure what you have before your eyes now. clish la i know lmao.

so although today was a very very slack day, it was real exciting, stepping into tp today, knowing that i am finally a student. its just cool la. nothing else can describe it, just so so so fucking cool. everything about my course arouses my interest and makes me think of how i wanna push myself. ah hao said he's never heard me talk about oushing me to my limits, but maybe its come to a point where i have changed, where i have matured. it may not be a big deal, but at least its an improvement. but whatever the case, let's just wait and see if daryl's really changed. cause you never know if this is just the starting exhiliration. who knows when i get the hang of it, i'll start to get bored and slacken? you never know.

the thing about poly is that they really don't care. as what paul said, he doesn't care what we do in his class, as long as we don't disturb the rest of the class. we can eat, sleep, sms, whatever. just don't disturb the rest. to put it in bad light, they don't care, period. but to put it nicely, their treating us as adults. though i know of some people who cant handle that. but its good to know that you're finally taking control of your life. many things made me realise that your parents can't always be there for you. its not like in primary sch where when you wanted to be excused from some activity, all you had to do was tell your parents and they'd definitely kick up a ruckus at the scholl. eventually you'll get your way. but there are certain things in life you ahve to fight for by yourself. you have to earn it. and your parents can't always be there for you. its frightening now to think that i have to take responsibility for my actions. that i can be trialed in court for breaking the law. that i can be put in jail. but its also an exciting learning journey. i always like this quote, "if you dont fall, you'll never learn."

anyway, back to school, this whole diploma things is just cool la. from the fieldtrips during LAB time to the case studies. thinking that i'm gonna know the whole airport and airline system inside ous just psyches me up la. previously, i just had a passion for aviation, for planes and for the airport. but soon enough, on top of that passion, i'll be equipped with the skills to tackle the industry; doing something that i love. everyone'd be envious of that cause it ain't easy to get a job you really have the passion for.

on a second note, i really like my class now. everyone's friendly, even though we've only been together for a short while. though there are certain stuff bubbling beneath the surface, but overall i'm really glad with my class. jo's been a great friend, and she's gonna be my class/course/school mate for the coming 3 yrs. how fortunate can one get? i hope we'll have a fabulous time together as P01, as the lecturers all say, we've got 3 yrs to bond together, so let's enjoy the most of it. =)

2007-04-18T03:08:00.000+08:00

ok firstly i'm sorry.

secondly, orientation's starting tmr! i seriously hope it'll be fun.

thirdly, i'm supposed to wake at 7 and i'm still awake. so good night!

2007-04-09T05:14:00.000+08:00

ok so i've quit alrd. don't know why. i feel happy. cause i know i'm about to embark on this new journey in my life. and i'm definitely gonna give it my all, looking back on how tough it was for me to get to where i am now. happy too cause i need not work under the Y-man anymore. you seriously gotta work with him to understand him. his style. but at the same time, i know i'm gonna miss the people i've left behind. some of them anyway. the poeple of the old TPY team. mother dora, sadra baby and carl. with them around, i could always be myself. say what i wanted to say. working with them was a joy. one of the simple pleasures of life. mother, thatnks for all you've taught me. alteration, cashiering, serving. plus other life lessons as well. you've been a great person, both in the shop and outside as well. and you know what? i'm really gonna miss ya! if you decide to quit, please join singapore idol or anugerra or something, cause ou sing really well.

sandra babe, study hard for your Os la ok! dont forget about your o levels papers like F&N la walao!!!! work hard, stay cool, stay happy. don't look down on yourself cause you know you can achieve much more. and dont be afraid of noreen! lmao.

carl, yao jia you la! zhu ni he ni lao po bai nian hao he. zao sheng gui zi! bu yao wang ji wo la.

ok, so the last few days have been spent honing my mahjong skills. first on thursday after we were done with school, donson, joanna and i headed back to my place to play mahjong. but he had to leave early, so we only had sa ka left; stanley, joanna and me. called my bro to play. at first he said ok, but later he said he couldn't. so the three of us were moping around, thinking of a solution. then joanna decided to call her mum and try her luck. turned out her mum's hands also itching. she jia jia one la. act like she don't wanna play, but when we reached jo's house, her mum was waiting for us already. quoting from jo, "bu xiang da majiang de ren bu hui da ying zai 12dian da majiang de." lmao. so we carried on playing till like 6 plus the next morning. then we went home. lost quite abit of money.. BUT.. i played mahjong again the next night!!! du gui right? joanna wasn't feeling well so only stanley, my bro, his friend and me played.

i must tell you how i recouped my loss man. stanley was zhuang, then was xi feng, i had 2 zheng hua. then i pung xi feng. 4 tai alrd so bao da right? stanley definitely wont throw da pai one. so i continue playing. then i mo another hua. 5 tai liao. hahaha... and to top it off, stanley throw a ban se to me. should have seen his face la. wanna cry alrd. and furthermore on top of that, i lian zhuang like 8 or 9 times. one feng played for almost 1 1/2 hours la.

another one was when it was bei feng. i got 3 hua alrd so bao bei feng. i was playing ban se too. in my hand had two bei feng alrd. i pung one time can ting pai alrd. then dom's friend threw bei feng, i pung. he damn sian already la. then immediately after that he throw ba shuo i hu. he tio bao. damn sad can?

that's how i reduced my debt to stanley. then yesterday, after my last day of work, joanna asked me to go down to her ah yi's house to play mahjong. i definitely won't decline one what! so headed down afte work. walao, her uncle that night damn suay can? one hole game only hu yat fan in bei feng. his luck was damn bad yesterday la, while mine was damn good. kept eating 4 tai 5 tai. peng hu and ban se. won 30 plus yesterday so i reduced my debt to joanna again!

so as you can see. three straight days of mahjong. and if it wasn't for the fact today was jo's ahgong's birthday i think we would have continued playing mahjong all the way. we do need help, but who will decline mahjong?! wahahah.

2007-03-27T00:43:00.000+08:00

you know this week is so slack for me? all the shifts are like damn relaxing can? i start working at 6 tmr until closing. for wed it would be half morning. meaning from 10 till 2. get what i mean now? anyway i finally tendered. many reasons la but those close to me will know why. after nana transfered we all wanted to quit, but i stayed cause of dora. now she has transfered too. so what's the point? i started off really enjoying my job and the people there. but i grew to hate the new people who came in. i started hating the way i pretended infront of them. i hated the politics. so for now, pls go away. not gonna change my mind about tendering la. besides i've got school which i actually am aiming to excel in. so why not? thanks for the happy memories guys, but you won't get to read this.

anyway, i must say something damn hilarious. ytd i had to relief at amk hub at night till closing. so when i went there, it was a really small shop la. then infront of the shop there was this fountain and some places to seat la. so i realised afte awhile there were two girls sitting outside the shop and taking pictures. at first i thought it was pics of the shop, but then i realised they kept giggling when i smiled at them.(customers what!) then i realised that they were, actually, taking pictures of me. and they kept giggling! was quite weird and frustrating la. as in you know you start t get conscious of how you look etc. and joanna and the gang! stop sniggering ok? i know you are. but i just had to tell you guys this weird thing. haha.

so today i went down to TP again. went to deliver my admissions directly to the office people. saw that B-woman at the office and she looked damn shocked when i told her i was told to hand my admissions in personally cause i managed to change course. wahaha. the gratification was priceless la. but i didn't let it get to my head. afteral it was by luck they accepted me, and i'm not about to push it. but i can't help my happiness, and relief at getting in. will most probably be going to TP again on wed to hand in my medical. hopefully jo and donson go along as well since if i rmb correctly they're working at tpy hub on that day too.

anyway you know i have this weird habit. when i'm bored and i've nothing to do, i will go look through the history of my blog and my friend's blog. and i will realise how much we have all grown. all the memories would come flooding back. the times we spent together, the times i felt like killing them, the times when we we frank with each other, the stuff we talked about, the things we did. and then i tell myself to cherish my friends even more. nice way to relive the memories huh?

2007-03-23T00:31:00.000+08:00

We are pleased to inform you that Daryl Ooi will be transferred from the Diploma in Communications & Media Management to the Diploma in Aviation Management & Services. Daryl can expect to receive an enrolment packagefrom us soon.

this is what makes my life man. and my day.

2007-03-17T23:04:00.000+08:00

you know how they say you start thinking of things when you're left alone? well it really is damn true la. sitting in front of the come. not doing anything, just listening to songs, makes me think alot. talk about how urbanism has changed our lives. wherever did sitting by streams and pondering go? i guess, when i'm alone, i think about how it would be to have someone sitting beside me. you know, someone as in a partner. i mean i do have wonderful friends and i'm thankful for them. (i know you guys are reading this) but i guess everyone has thought of finding the other half right? it would be sweet to have someone to share your life with wouldn't it? but then again, before i lapse into my dreamy state again, reality comes rushing back at me again, waking me with a stinging slap. is it that easy to find the other half? haha. this is where reality laughs point blank in your face. but..... aiyah. nvm.

anyway im SEVENteen already. though i didnt go clubbing on my birthday, but i went before AND after as well. makes up eh? celebrated my day with the gang. we met up before going to pepper lunch for, well, lunch. there, we were goofing around and playing, when ah hao presented me my present. *drumroll* the little blue box. thats what he said ok?! like wtf la. i seriously though for a moment they bought a little blue box for me. which turned out to be true in a certain sense. but, you get my drift la. it turned out to be a ferragamo perfume in a little blue box, get my point now? was seriously shocked la. firstly, i never expected my friends to buy perfume for me cause its ex. and secondly, i didnt "wait a minute ah!" and walked into tangs to hint this. i seriously didnt! pls believe me lahh. but was really touched. no cake though. perfume too ex la. but it really was sweet la. i MUACK MUACK you all can? haha.

after that, we proceeded to serangoon ganbling den where me, joel duatau and joanna played mahjong and poker and banluck. birthday won money. haha. good luck what, then i went for dinner with my family. aiyah... dont get me started on the seafood, im afraid i wont stop. one word, it was freaking delicious! ok i cheated that was 4. but who cares, i was the birthday boy.

so that was all. small and nothing elaborate, but definitely sweet and worth remembering. after my birthday we went to st james the next day to club. OH!!!!! i must say this.. i lost my virginity alrd. wahahaha..... with joel and duatau and joanna and ah hao and angela. haha. we all went clubbing at fluid before my birthday. so anyway this was the second time we were going clubbing. st james was like ten times better than fluid la. bigger dance floor, more happening crowd, better music, at the end only la. and its cooler too la. anyway met my colleagues there as well. before the dancefloor opened, there was this dance competition first. the guy who is supposedly from TJ was pretty hot la. haha. and his group danced not bad as well. so we just watched the competition. then when it was over, the floor open up. at first the music was too hip hoppish for me la. so i didnt really dance. just stood around people watching. then after that they started playing better music, furthermore duatau and sis had arrived already. so i started grooving more. was really enjoying myself la. saw chong yeow who appeared damn popular with the girls. but see his sian face when they grind him. maybe he's a closetted gay. lmao.

duatau and angela, as usual attracted boys like honey does bees. everyone like wanna grind them like that. then joel complained and said he very sian, wanted to go home. think he doenst like the lights la. plus it was really squeezy. so we were like deliberating whether to stay or go. we really enjoyed the place, but letting joel leave alone made me feel bad la. in the end we all left together lo. left duatau and angela behind. sorry! i WILL stay until it ends next time ok? it was a big mistake going back la. lost 72 dollars in gambling. haha. i need li nanxing pls! both joanna and i need him.

after gambing the whole night away, and the morning as well, donson jo and me left for school. felt so cool going back la. like i am finally a senior alumni. haha. tried looking for darling teachers but they werent there. so too bad la. we stayed back to help elaine toh. totally shocked her with the topics we were talking about la. then we gambled in front of her. see why jo and i need li nanxing now? after we finished the maths corner thing, we went out to eat, then decided on the spot to go desmond's to get a fresh haircut. reached there, shocked him too cause jo and i were like gambling there too. i finally made myself stop. luck was damn bad la. then after we were done we decided to go home. was too tired alrd reached home and just slept la. oh and anyway im liking my hair more and more. the colour is more obvious. but when the highlight fades, im wondering what new colours to dye. any suggestions?

2007-03-09T22:18:00.000+08:00

you know since my birthday is coming. i'll like to say that the best birthday gift i could ever get this year, is just a nice little package from tp stating that i am an AMS student. aw man, that would totally rock my day!

another year has passed. or rather is passing soon. time to think of what new plans i have for myself. for one, i would want to get into ams. for two, i would want to spend more time with my friends. for three i wish my bro's r/s with my parents would grow better. not very greedy wishes are they?

so anyway on another note, if you havent heard, we're going clubbing this saturday. really looking forward to it man. i told you i would do it before 18. before 17 even. after clubbing, it'll most probably be swimming at joel's place. i just hope everyone won't be shagged out. the next day on sunday i'd be going down to desmond's to discuss about my hair colour. if all turns out well i'd most probably be dying it on that day. after that'll it'll be the it show. actually i'm still deciding if i should buy it ther eor at the poly fair. any advice?

oh and another thing, i've made a mental note to polish up my english. both spoken and written. don't ask me why. but i just feel mine is really atrocious now. and i don't wish to see it deteriorating anymore. so from now on i will be speaking solely in english. haha. there's enough mandarin around me to disallow it to deteriorate anyway.

so that's all. so long. ta ta!

2007-03-06T23:39:00.000+08:00

NRIC : S90XXXXXE

Name : OOI WEISHENG DARYL

1. The results of your application are as follows:

Posted Institution : TEMASEK POLYTECHNIC

Course Name : DIPLOMA IN COMMUNICATIONS & MEDIA MGT

Course Code : T40

so damn, as you can see, i didnt get into AMS. damnit la! i nearly got a heart attack this morning. totally didnt expect it at all. but went down to TP, spoke to the course manager, he said i have a high chance of appealing in cause i fulfilled the cut-off. in my heart i was thinking what appeal man? i should get a place based on my results! but at times like this, i rather swallow my pride. as long as i get in, i'll be contented.

this episode really taught me a lesson. it made me realise and confirm that my passion for this course isn't a fickle choice. it really is something i want. and i will go all out to get it. it'll be good as well la, since mass comm is such a hotly coverted course. i don't mind giving my place up to someone more interested in it than me. just give me my AMS pls...

OH! and we're going clubbing this saturday. woohoo!

2007-02-20T00:42:00.000+08:00

CNY is here. and its ending soon. this period has always been a period i look forward to. partly because it is a quintessentially chinese tradition. and also because it really brings the family together. at least for my case.

if you haven't already known, my family isn't exactly the perfect family. the ones in tv dramas. my bro dropped out of school previously. he joined a gang. we used to fight doggedly. he would yell at my parents previously. he would smash things. my parents would fight. my parents would lose hope in him. my parents would say he's gone case. my parents would say if i don't study i'll be gone case too. but that was in the past. most of it anyway.

the thing about CNY is that, for my family, the first day is to bai nian to my parents. i don't know about others, but its at this time that my parents, esp my dad, will open up and really talk to us. about what he feels, his thoughts and emotions. this is a rarity amongst chinese fathers i guess. its the traditional chinese father image or something. bit what i treasure is the fact that we would get to talk about things that were all swept under the rug previously. and believe me, old stuff gets dug up. not that i mind cause i want closure. but this CNY was more different.

i know, and i think my parents and brother don't know, that they recently got into a huge row over his further studies. apparently its about the financing of his studies in poly. my bro feels my parents should pay for his studies wholly, while my parents think that he, being a grown adult already and of 21 years of age, should start shouldering some responsibility for his future. he should at least pay half the fees. so they fought over this, and you know people. when they start to fight, they'll dig up all the old unsetles scores. so my bro wrote a letter to my parents (neither knows i know this) and he talked about this argument and how my parents once told him they really look down on him for certain stuff that he did previously. ok. personally speaking, i do despise some of his actions at times. but it has been my mantra that one shouldn't generalise and stereotype a person just because of a mistake he made. my bro didn't have a glamourous past, but hey, he has his good points too aight?

and i as his brother shouldn't condemn him for his past. for what would the family be for? family is supposed to be there for you whenever you need someone. they're like the crew behind every theatre production. the heartbeat of it all. you can have all the glamour, the lights, the cast, the sound. but without the crew, nothing will go through. i know my parents are disappointed in him at times. and i too know my brother is disappointed in them too. but after the exchange of letters, they probably reached an agreement. i knew anyway that my dad would definitely support him la. he is the best example of mouth hard, heart soft can?

so this CNY was especially meaningful cause at least my parents and brother managed to talk to each other about it. they managed to reach an agreement, and for that i'm happy. every family has its problems. and though my family isn't the perfect family, i love them and am proud of them. past, problems and all.

and bro, if you ever read this, i just wanna say, the more people look down on you, the more you must show them that you can make it. but firstly, ask yourself, do you look down on yourself instead?

CNY is about angbaos and goodies. its about fanfare, gatherings and mahjong. its about ba kwa, ban luck and 4-D. but its also about family... happy chinese new year to all.

2007-02-12T20:37:00.000+08:00

results are out already. all of us did well, was so happy/relieved for everyone. the day was so emotionally packed la. cred for friends. cried for myself. well, its over already. did well in all subjects, passed AMATHS!!! like whoohoo la! but both maths got c6. wahaha. only regret was emaths la. if not c6 i'll be a 10 pointer instead of 14. anyway, just submitted my JAE application. its finally a burden i got off my shoulders. to whoever is still pondering, brooding over it, just wish you guys the clarity of mind to make the decision you feel is most apt, right, suitable for yourself. dont let others sway you. best of luck. =)

2007-01-24T20:53:00.000+08:00

ok i've been terribly busy i admit. everyday is like wake up, go work, come back and sleep. its so tiring, but fun at the same time. my managers are damn friendly. so are my collegues. haha. i really don't regret working here man. plus the pay is good too. come to think of that, my pay doesnt come in until febuary. walao, cause i joined them late. so they'll push back my pay. but oh well, i'll be rich soon man! but then i'll still have to treat my family, and then there is joanna they all. haha. soon it'll be gone.

anyway, i've kinda like decided that i'll be going to tp.as in i'll be putting it as my first choice, then jc. reason being i feel its something i have a love for. its a field that is highly relevant and in need of talent. eg, terminal 3 is opening soon and they will definitely need manpower. plus there are many opportunities to further my education with the diploma and to further my career. so it'll be poly first then ny second choice. haha. havent thought of my other choices yet though.

but going to poly would have its hidden costs as well la. like now my transport is no longer subsidised, i;m paying adult fare and its bloody expensive la. one week about 30 bucks just travelling to and from work. nowhere else at all. i can't imagine how much transport will cost when i go poly la. govt sucks in this area man. why do jc students get full subsudies while poly do not? i mean, both are tertiary students students right? and now poly is shedding its stigma of the past when only those who couldn't go to jc went poly. now more and more students are choosing poly over jc so why the discrepancy in treatment? on top of that, the gst is increasing. everything's about money nowadays. no money no talk. isn't it depressing?

anyway, next week i'll most probably be going to MJC to watch the girls soccer match. applied for leave, hopefully i'll get it since i gave one week's notice. haha. anyway, really hope to eat dinner with you guys on friday after the soccer. love!

2007-01-07T02:14:00.000+08:00

you know it sucks to be down with an upset stomach? i dont kno if its stomach flu or food poisoning or whatever. let's just call it the upset stomach. so having the upset stomach enfuels you with the great ability to make record breaking dashes to the toilet. it also bestows you with ever lasting non-hungriness. plus the ability to great weapons of mass destruction; all in a tiny space called the lavatory. the U.S. MUST be jealous of me. at other times it just leaves you lying on the bed, breaking out in cold sweat, grabbing your tummy and cursing the world. sounds enticing?

anyway, if you haven't heard, temasek poly has come up with a new, very very enticing course called aviation management and services. basically its a course that equips you with the skills in engineering, mainly aeronautical engineering, and the management of the airport, the airlines, and all aviation related services, including baggage, security, blah blah. it goes from the very glam air stewards/stewardesses, down to the grimy and dirty technicians and engineers who keep the monster plane revving. so basically almost everything in the aviation industry. and its this exact course that's got me comtemplating my tertiary education. JC or poly? urgh.

ok, personally the reason i chose JC first was cause i wanted to stall for more time, to decide what i wanted to do further on in life. i had a rough estimate, like i was sure i wasn't going into banking or medicine. but i didn't know thw finer details like what degrees i could get, what industry specifically i would be working in. so i wanted to stall for time. but now that i found out this course existed, and i found out that there actually are chances for me to further my studies after the diploma, its got me thinking of what i wanna do with my future. whether i shld proceed with my JC course or bite the bullet now and take the diploma course.

i did my calculations, and if im not wrong, saying i take a degree course if i take either jc or poly, poly will roughly be 1-2 yr max behind jc. in terms of completing my university education, and going out into the industry to work.(horrifying thoughts, i know) so, its not really a very long period of time behind. plus, i will be able to skip my first year in uni and jump str8 to secind year if i graduate well, which will put me on par with jc students in my batch, NS has been taken into consideration alrd. so frankly speaking, i feel it wont make much of a big difference either route i take.

secondly, i feel poly might give me wider opportunities as to what to study in uni. i can choose to further my diploma or take a degree in engineering, or i can always revert back to my good old arts and social sciences. however in comparision, gven the subject combi i will be taking in jc, i will only be limited to one faculty out of ten; arts and social sciences. not that i'm really complaining about it, since i feel i will be my forte. but since i can always do it, why not explore other options? you never know what life has in store for you. i MIGHT, just MIGHT take some cheem engineering degree and go teach amaths. you really never know. i'm not being greedy here. i just feel, being young and having the world at my feet, i don't wanna close all my doors so soon. neither do i wanna put all my eggs into one basket. moreover, aviation has always been on of my passions. now it would really be a blessing to turn ones' passion into a job. how many people get that good fortune?

on the other hand, there's always this little fear, this doubt. i'm afraid that i will drop out halfway though the course. maybe the engineering turned out to be too torturous for me to handle. or the course wasn't what i thought it would be. i mean, at the end of the day, it is a NEW course. and i will be its pioneer batch of students. i dont wanna be a lab rat man. i'm sorry, but everyone's selfish in one way or another. im not perfect. so this fear is justifiable man. further more, should i drop out halfway, that's like totally wasting my time and money la. i'll be more than 2 yrs max behind. maybe 3. that's bad. add to it less money? really make you think man.

its at times like this; when you reach a cross roads of sorts that you wish life was much easier. that everything was handed to you on a silver platter, just like those ready made meals, frozen dry and packed conveniently in 7-eleven. but your life would most probabaly turn out like your food. i guess this is all part and parcel of growing up, where we learn to make many decisions in life. this is one of the first, of many to come i am sure. i'm still thinking......

oh anyway, for my friends who managed to reach here, just wanna say, isn't ironic that we only treasure somehing more when we lose it? now that we're not together anymore, doesnt it make us reminisce more about the past? well, i'm glad to say at least i learnt to treasure you guys more. better late than never right? haha. night.