lets' see.lots of things have hapened recently. let me try to recap.
tuesday: i was in sch with 4 of my girl friends. so there were like 5 of us. and after the 2.4 run we stayed back in school to help out with the class decoration for some competition. well, at first there were many people doing it. but after awhile most of them left. leaving me with joanna, jing ying, grace and sindy. so we decided to finish up witht he class deco and we did it till like 8 at night. than when we went down we realised that the school gates were locked! we couldn't get out. so we called ms lai and asked her to come save us haha. than she told us to go look for this man in the school. only he has the keys to let us out. so we went round the whole school until we went to the old block. it was scary enough in the day, now at night it looked worse. haha. so we were looking and screaming when jingying said the corridor very scary, later auntie come out. because there was only that uncle in school it freaked us out alot la. and the corridors were damn darka nd scary so we screamed and ran back to the grabd audi. tan we found the uncle there and he opened the gates for us. he was still smiling la. and jingying went on cracking jokes about him nt being alive and just a ghost or something. was damn lame. haha.
wednesday: nothing much happened on wed la. just that i went for training and people said my bowling improved! haha. happy la. but its all thanks to dear. haha.
today: was supposed to meet jingying and jiahao at bugis for the ndp thing at 12. but i woke up at 12! haha. so in the end dragged and reached there at 2. went with joanna. she met me outside my house than we went together. haha. when we reached there, we met jimgying and jiahao. jingying dress until very nice, but look very chao ah lian. and she looked so conspicous in the bright blue when everyone going to ndp was in RED! haha. at least me and joanna wear white not that bad, still a national colour. and jiahao blue was very light, so not that bad. jingying was the worst.
than we went to take some neoprints. they turned out pretty nice. guess we all look photogenic. haha. than when we were decorating the prints dear called. he told me he reached already. so i asked him to meet me outside the neoprint shop at lvl3 in parco. when he arrived he was dressed in some office wear which was a white shirt and black office pants. and he tucked out the shirt. haha. thought office wear supposed to tuck in one? dear would have looked nicer if he tucked in. it look like baju kurong. haha. than after collecting the neoprints, i introduced dear to them. he was damn shy la. than jingying and joanna keep giggling at him and me. haha.
than we decided to go to raffles place to queue up for the ndp already lo. than dear said he wanted to come along. so i said its great la. at least he get t know my friends. then we were walking through bugis the basemene there where they sell food. than jo said she was hungry, wanted to eat. so i say great la. since she can eat with my dear. but in the end she say nv. so we didn't eat. and i didnt ask dear to eat as well. think he was fucking famished la. but at that time we were kinda rushing for the thing, i forgot about him wanting to eat. found out later he felt really neglected. its not that i wanted to neglect him or whatever. it wasn't on purpose.
than we took the train to raffles place. when we alighted we went up to the ndp thing. than when we reach the queue, they wanted to queue up, so i walked dear to marina square first. along the way we were walking, actually everything was o at first. than he saw this group of school kids and all the army guys. than started making those ogling noises. know he didn't really mena it la. but was kinda pissed off. but dcided to endure, since i know he won't be those unfaithful type. anyway i also look at other guys ma. but after awhile he still continued. and i guess that was the time i started to show i was angry. kept staring at him than give him attitude. than he was gonna say something about my friends but he just stopped. and it made me even more peeved. so i gave him attitude la. and walk very very fast. than he was behind me.
think he was trying to chase after me at first. but think he too tired and hungry and pissed also la. so he just walk normally. and we reach esplanade than i turned around. saw this very pissed and angry look on his face. but when he saw me he immediately changed his look to a nonchalent one. than i realised that maybe i had gone a lil bit too far la. and i started to apologise to him. but i guess he was really pissed at that time. and he didn't even want to listen. and the worse thing was he kept pretending nothing was wrong when it was bothering him. it kinda bugs me when he does that. so in the end apologised to him but he asked me t leave. so i no choice but to leave lo. than on the way talked to him on the phone. he sounded damn bloody pissed lo. than kept apologising. but no use already. so in the end hung up lo. was kinda sad and upset la. but couldn;t do anything, just let him cool down lo. than met my friends again. had to put on some smily face but was like so sad inside. than we went in for the parade. actually no mood to see one. kept thinking of dear. and worried for dear too. but just smile smile for my friends.
than i smsed him just before the parade started. talked with him la. than found out he was pissed cause he felt neglected when he went out with me and my friends. he sacrificed sleep and he thought he can eat with me. but in the end he didn't eat anything. he said he felt cheated. and he felt that i was treating him like dog. just draging him wherever i went. but i just didn't want him to feel left out. wanted him ti mix with my friends. a mixup in communication perhaps? than can say we kinda quarrelled through sms la. than i apologised but he didn't accept. and he kept denying he wasn't upset or anything. the argument finally ended when he didn;t reply my sms. didn;t really have the mood to watch the parade after that la. kept thinking bout him and the relationship. i really don;t want this relationship to crash. it justs tarted and we're already having problems. thought this was the honeymoon period? i can see myself spending alot of time with him in this relatonship. really really love him alot. but now? we aren't even talking. i don't know la. feeling fucked up but can't show it to anyone. i'm just sorry for all that has happened.
dear, if you read this, i just wanna say sorry for eberything that happened la. know you easily irritated these days. maybe i did something unknowingly? i'm sorry for all that has happened la. but no matter what i hope you know that i still love you and still wanna be your bf. don't regret coming into this relationship. my not calling you now doesn't mean that i don;t want to talk to you. but its just that i want to give you more time to cool down and think. time for me as well. don;t wanna call you now and agitate the situation. you can call me whenever you feel like or when you're ready la. not sure if i'm gonna call you tonight. see if i'm ready and if you are. i'm really sorry all these happened. was just a glitch in communication. i really hope we can tide this over. love you so much. i really love you dear, even though all these has happened, you're still my boyfriend.
__________________[[can i cry? no, cause the tears are all dried up....]]__________________
